If I want to ignore basic geography in order to further my patriotism, that’s my right as an American, sir.

Gonna be singing the Team America theme all morning to celebrate, you guys.

Hell, at this point they’re making the NCAA look good.

I really wish that all the countries involved in the world cup decided to boycott the next two in Russia and Qatar. What an embarrassing organization. They make the NFL look good.

FIFA is ordering out for lunch today.

Thank you and do no fuck with the Queen.

CBS could make bank by offering a for charge option to mute Jim Nantz.

I’d pay extra for cable sports packages if it allowed viewers to hear what players - and managers/coaches - were saying.

Three of his five wins have been by knockout.

Still better than Mayweather Pacquiao.

He beat a fat piece of shit. Granted, a fat peace of shit that had the balls to get in the ring with this James Bond villain looking motherfucker. I don’t know what I’m supposed to take away from this.

Well, how’s that for breaking a stereotype? I had always heard that Asian Dongs were much smaller.

That was the least erotic video involving a massive Dong and an equally massive pair of breasts that I’ve ever watched.

Most Dongs need some time to recover, but Dong just fought for his second time in two weeks.

On the plus side, the ejection gives him more time for chillin’ out, maxin’ and relaxin’ all cool.

Given that our past few coaches include a poorly reanimated corpse, a serial job hopper, a wife beater, and Dave Wannstedt, I’m OK with a huge creeper as long as he gets us back to where we belong- 8-4 every year in a bowl game in a city you don’t want to visit to play a team you don’t care about. H2P!

You absolutely need to worry about extended contact with our staph.

Because there is a Mr Show skit for every fucked-up situation:

“You don’t have to worry about extended contact with our staff.”

[Eyes gaze from Pittsburgh to central PA]