8. Examine You wanna make sure your junk look rights after BRO!!! 9.(if necessary) Exterminate (should be self explanatory)

I fell like the most athletic part of this sport is getting into those suits

A Schiano Man is a man that moves to Florida from New Jersey, but brags how much better New Jersey is...why the f**k do you people do this?

When a coach gets fired and the players may not agree with it, are you allowed to complain or are you expected to just deal with the "it's business" comment?

Clearly this is a Red Herring

Roger Goodell doesn't care about black [and purple] people!

Wanaah Bail

I have always said that every time Deadspin put's headlines that make a definite statement like this one does with the "Craziest Fantasy Football Player in the World" I say they are opening themselves up for everyone to call bullshit. In this case however, I was wrong and I am sorry for ever doubting you all.

I just died a little

Clearly Mike is just channeling his inner Floyd Wetherton

Jeffrey Loria knows who shot the deputy

“was a running back — and a fine one.”

Firstname Lastname 4 MVP!

So why does a family gather around to watch the VMAs again?

What sports channel has the most street cred at this point? Back in the day you could just say hey I watched ESPN last night and (insert random highlight here), but now I feel like they have some rando shit on each channel so it's like hey did you see this, and it's like hell na, but did you see the NFL channel's…

So ends the always rare daily news cycle for Deadspin

1. TV personality fired (Hugh Douglas)
2. Mention of a league outside of the big 4 (CFL)
3. Sports star scandal (Johnny Football) eh
4. Poop Story

Though executed perfectly, their best prank is still happening as they make everyone believe the Twins still play baseball