If I can’t skip to the part I want, I’m not watching the video. Tik Tok can eat me. Add a progress bar or GTFO. 

Like those boy scouts in The Onion who were giving free breast exams

Totally. The surest way never to be wounded by fallible human memory is to cut yourself off from all fallible humans. Go on, be a schizoid. Otherwise life is a mess of human weakness and struggle, and that’s called relationships. Get out of the bad ones but don’t think you’ll find some magical promised land…

She’s going to hit her click goals by writing articles specifically designed to bait us into fighting each other in the comments. Fucking pathetic.

I wish that neighbor would have stood the fuck back, nothing is worse than another chef in the kitchen when you’re dealing with chaos. But the guy with the gun was totally part of the chaos. If you’re going to draw your gun you best be ice cold about it, and if you’re killing a panicking animal you don’t panic it more.…

Cold fact: Car people are not fun to be around.

Wow, this is useful. Realllly helps everyone to just stir the shit. 

Yes! Two key components of a Will Ferrell skit:

most gun people I know are DYING for a chance to shoot something. 

The loop video is HILARIOUS because after all the commotion it’s just Ned Flanders saying “mornin!”

The Kinja universe has built a pretty successful buisness on cultivating hate in the comments. Each blog has their punching bags. So yes, there is plenty of hate for Avatar among AV Club for sure. 

“and I have come to trust Tom’s evaluations enough”

“renders almost everything ponderous, from this to Dances With Wolves to James Bond”

Toby Jones is done giving fucks. 

Same tech for the heated/cooled cupholders in the 300. Love it. 

“Who would date anyone that uses facebook?”

“Agreed, this is just blatant, unnecessary cynicism.”

Plus, this: “It wasn’t “alone time” he was after. Dude was hosting.”