The story in my family is that the night the first bomb was dropped, my grandfather, a Jew in charge of black soldiers in the Persian Gulf, partied. Everyone there did. Whenever the devastation was truly revealed, however many weeks and months later, he became a staunch pacifist.

Wonder Pets is the absolute best pot smoking kid's show there is. So much fun to watch baked.

Bea Arthur's Dick… Tionary

He played Gregory Hines, right?

Harold and Maude?

I had to make the whole time.

Would I pick Da Vinci Code or Fault In Our Stars? So hard to choose.

Earth 2 is definitely Voyager.

I'd much rather go to the Squidport than Harborplace.

Zestfully Zany. My picture was taken in a trash can.

Help me out, I don't get it.

My favorite part of the Goldberg's was when Hyde pushed Kelso off the water tower… wait, wrong period piece TV show based around water towers.

No one has anything to say about Jenna's "Oh. My. Gee"? I bet she's a Hebrew School attendee.

I bet they're really Silver Kazars.

They shoot that horse and Vince Vaughan says, "Happy Bat Mitzvah, baby" and I lose it every time.

"Jelly Man Kelly" or GTFO.

Dude, you kill it every week. I almost wish that the mix tape had stayed a camp mix tape. That's when all my key mix taping went on. Probably would have been a little too Jewy for the room, though.

If 30 Rock gave me anything, it's a line from The Head and The Hair: "What's your game, friend?" The one TV quote I use more than all others.

Also takes place on a Monday, Harry Chapin's Sniper:

Kenny Fisher, sign my yearbook!