I'm comfortable with Forrest Gump for what it is, and what it is is a really well-made movie about what events America chose to define the second half of the twentieth century. People can hate on it for tickling the Boomer prostate, but fuck 'em (Boomers and haters both) for trying to pigeonhole the entire thing like…

Yeah, the Son explicitly says that he thinks his dad has done something amazing with Legos.

I admit I have a real weakness for theories that change perspectives from what the author intended.

Yeah, I'd be more worried if this was a private message leaked out or something, but from what little I've read it seems like this was a relatively public statement by a public figure.

This is an important thing to remember. Marriage is a big cultural Thing, and we have lots of stuff wrapped up in it for better and worse.

It's a brutal game, but someday I'll crack it wide open and get my anus on the very peak of that mountain, for everyone to see.

Hey, you're talking to the fifth most famous anus in Japan, thankyouverymuch.

Bye bye Miss Boaty McBoatface
Drove my dingy to the thingy, but the thingy's erased,
The Minister went and threw out most of the votes,
Saying "No, that's not a name for a boat"

Counter-counterpoint: The song is totally rad, and your mother.

A. Christopher Walken didn't know he was in a movie.

He's the guy from that episode of Doctor Who

Don McLean is great and so is American Pie, fuck the haters, fuck this guy, et cetera and so forth.

Brave lil tachikomas! Noooooo

It's more like German, but capable of joy.

Forget it, ZebedeeDooDah, it's Wacky Races.

A surly jock with a banana in his ass?

You know what, I've heard worse criteria.

God, I just keep imagining this as some weird Eastern European dating site trend. Just Russian Tinder, filled fit to burst with pictures of guys in track suits and pork pie hats, squatting next to pictures of fresh-dug holes, shovel-over-shoulder.

Congratulations!

I never had the right sort of mindset for it. Not that I was ever wading through offers anyhow, so the point is probably moot.