What was Marge Schott? I think that is the most accurate physical comparison.

You and almost all or the people responding are a bunch of girthers

He can’t because of his bone spurs though.

Short/sweet/from the heart. These are the only 3 things u need for a good wedding speech.

God bless her soul as she spent the next day cleaning out the car while I spent the weekend on the couch crying.

I expect you’re right. That shit backfired on them though. That’s why I insist on naming my battleships in such a way that it’s clear. My flagship (the kayak of the pair I own with the biggest beer compartment) is the SS-Seriously-I-Don’t-Want-Any-Trouble. It doesn’t roll off the tongue, but I bet I’m safe from…

One of the funnier aspects of the hunt for the Terror and Erebus a couple years ago was how the local Inuit population had been suggesting to the Canadian/British governments for years that they might want to search nearby Terror Bay (named so by the crew of the Erebus in honour of the lost crew). One local hunter…

Alaska Fighting Championship. Local MMA.

I read this story in one of my dad’s Playboys back in ‘87. Loved it then; love it now.

I was 17 and at GF’s house. Her father asked to see one of my sneakers. Being 17 and dumb I gave him one. He instantly matched it to the print on their Ford Maverick’s ceiling.

Ivanka?

God you sound like an insufferable douchebag based on how you write. Explains why you were getting laid

There are not-embarrassing sex stories?

The night I got back from a couple weeks out of town, my girlfriend’s roommates were gone and she excitedly straddled me while I was sitting on her couch. I felt a little pinch, but whatever, we keep grinding. She seemed wetter than usual, but it HAD been a while. The pinching didn’t stop, though, so finally I…

I find rubbing a little bit of tuna fish on my balls attracts them. What did you use?

Somebody get Ken Starr on the case, he’ll save us from the disgusting man!

Yeah, but wouldn’t be kinda fun to see a sitting President of the United States go through divorcee proceedings? Sir, have you no sense of schadenfreude?

You couldn’t have wealthy parasites like Bezos without the wealthy parasite worshippers that think this scumbag is some kind of hero. Undercutting competitors by paying low wages is not a good thing. It impoverishes society. The race to the bottom is a very real thing and is going at full steam.