I think Art Schlichter is what he was going for there.

Benefits?  Parking?  What about health care?  Terminates with employment, or lean generous there too, and provide a transitional three months of coverage?  Because this is really starting to add up...  

Fine, okay, he can align with the Newark Vanguard then.

Yep. It can’t be a coincidence that his father happens to be the Commish of the XFL...

Don’t think of it as a task, but rather as a chance to watch some amazing TV. I envy you that you can start that series cold and see it from beginning to end, with huge plot developments along the way...

No umbrella for me, thanks. Gore-Tex is a must though.

I heap scorn on these men too. Not so much for actually doing DJ stuff, but for saying they’re a DJ.

Try it with cheese curds...

I’d dump her for that story, and the fucking emoji.

I’m a latecomer to texting, and refuse to use ackernyms and winkies. Captain Holt here shows us the way.

Not petty.  Don’t date uneducated dumbasses.

We could use more Andy Taylors!

Wait, wait, we need a time frame.  Because if he was rocking an Ocean Pacific bathing suit in the 80s, then he was nailing it.  Was it in the 80s?

Yep. My college astronomy intro courses never let me down.

I just thought of a petty dealbreaker: someone who says ‘romantical’.

No, that’s an understandable deal-breaker.

I remember a story in Sports Illustrated about that, can’t remember who the subject was, but he was a basketball player and very tall, and once introduced a girl to his mom who was 5'2" or something. His mom, herself quite tall, put the kibosh on that right away, told him that the 5'2" girl could pretty much date…

...And women complain we don’t communicate and share our feeling enough.

Emergency vehicle operator here, and backing in is the way to go. When you leave in a hurry, distracted and fiddling with the temperature controls and radio and not doing a proper check of your mirrors is when you’ll reverse into a vehicle or worse a pedestrian.