Here’s my special lil lady, Chirripa. All 8.5 pounds of pure miniature Dachshund power.

Small-market hockey franchises in Canada likely don’t make the cut based on their lack of overall impact, but Eugene Melnyk deserves an honourable mention at the very least.

This is some good music writing—the intro part about prodigies resonated in particular, as that was the exact sensation I got (and I’m sure nearly everyone older than him, which is all of the Deadspiniverse) when I first heard him: that voice is already better than anything I’ll ever accomplish in my life. Bastard.

This is too long.

Not speaking for the rest of y’all but I immediately read “Ree Drummond” as “Rae Sremmurd”.

Football’s never been the same since they allowed the forward pass, if you ask me.

Hell yes. For the record, white bbq sauce is the one good thing that’s ever come out of Alabama.

Damn... Roy was the only reason to go to Jays games in the first decade of the century. I’m half convinced the Jays would have packed up and moved to, I dunno, Portland had he not been around in the aughts. RIP.

As someone who routinely drank and smoked weed before intramural dodgeball games in grad school, I can definitely relate.

Hello! I quite like her music—her run of albums from Debut to Vespertine is pretty unimpeachable.

Hello! I quite like her music—her run of albums from Debut to Vespertine is pretty unimpeachable.

Counterpoint: baseball is almost never as fun as it has been during this World Series.

Sounds like these brain geniuses need to take their last name’s advice and open a sandwich shop on the moon.

Oh, buddy, as a Sens fan in Toronto, I figured I had encountered the worst of hockey fandom just around the 416. Then I moved to BC for three years. Canucks fans fucking. suck. The big one can’t happen fast enough.

Montreal is far less snobby than Paris. More likely they were addicted to Labatt 50 and VLTs than wine.

What are the chances that email of the week buddy’s divorce stemmed from him shitting his pants in front of his kid? Gotta be at least 20, 30%.

I have a bit more counter space, and I love cooking, and I LOVE cooking pizza, but it’s NEVER as good as delivery because a) my oven doesn’t get hot enough; b) the cleanup sucks; c) the cost of a large pepperoni from my favourite joint is maaaaybe $10 more than all the ingredients needed to make a pizza at home (tax…

The real joke shoulda been:
The French: inventors of both pasteurization and posterization.

I deeply apologize for trying to make a joke in French.

Pour les joueurs francaises comme Gobert et Weis, c’est un “posteurization”.