Ok. I put it up as a gag because I thought it was a fun way to point out a typo. Now I’ve read the whole thing. 3 TIMES you said minutes instead of seconds. Is it fair to say, dear alien, that you are not familiar enough with humans to know they can travel 400 meters in well under three quarters of an hour?

I don’t know. Running a 42-minute 400 is not *totally* unthinkable.

Go watch the Roogie - Bautista bout again if you want to see some crazy Donaldson. He comes flying in like he was launched out of a circus cannon.

asshole that makes baffling spelling decisions.

...and with surprisingly European features for a guy born where a bunch of brown people are from?

Seems like 4 people all say they got robbed at gunpoint. It is going to take a little more than “they looked too happy” to convince me this is a conspiracy.

Next stop: Olympic boxing on top of a FIFA-sanctioned bicycle named “Shoeless Joe.”

After 6 days of Olympic fighting, Israel has (gaza) stripped Egypt from any medal contention. You can take this win for Israel to the (west) bank.

*professional

“... which has included experiences at some of the biggest NCAA D-1 universities in the nation (University of Arizona, Texas A&M University). I said biggest. Not best.”

That’s a 12 year old?!?

I didn’t think this was a great take. Then I saw the ‘smh.’ I’m swayed: now my head is shaking in agreement.

Heh. “I dislike Lily because of her hypothetical behavior 4 years from now!”

MLB and these sports are analogous. Records fall virtually every Olympics because of the continued increase in knowledge for training and nutrition.

Not knowing about Ichiro’s f-bomb filled All Star Game speeches is pretty embarrassing for a sports anchor. It’s a super famous and hilarious anecdote by now.

Hosszu looks like if a bucket of ‘roids sprouted arms. At least Ledecky looks human.

“I would enjoy watching him punch people in pinstripes.”

1. Calvin and Hobbes

Plot twist: but the wish was to be told off by a major leaguer.

Robot umps on balls/strikes is dumb. Half the value of a catcher is ability to frame pitches.