Don't call James Bond or Secret Agent Man,
Cuz they can't do it like Great Job Internet! can!

I would but The Professor has a rider in his contract that says he doesn't have to play the same song more than once a show, and you need The Professor for that number!

I do requests! Time to Stump The Band.

Leave the long sets to the experts, son.

you know who's hat game is really on point, is me in my avatar. I miss my floppy hat days.

On her left hand, Riley tattooed the word "Joy"
And on her right hand, the word "Fear"
And in which hand she held her fate was never clear.

My name is Mario, I work for Nintendo

Remember all the movies, Terry, we'd go see
Learning about menstruation from the people on the screen

Actually this is an early draft of a little song I ended up putting on the Nebraska album, you can read the lyrics I ended up using here: http://www.lyricsmode.com/l…

I knew Wanda when she was an employee
Behind the counter at the Route 60 Mickey D's
Quarter Pounders in the front seat she's sittin' on my lap
Wipin' our fingers on a McDonaldland map
I remember Wanda up on scrap metal hill
With them deep-fried nuggets make your heart stand still.

Here in northeast of Moscow

Took my owner to a picture show

I had a friend was a big sweater fan
Back on Star Trek
He could annoy the fuck right out of you
Make himself look like a fool
Met him the other night in a GJI
He was walking out, I was walking in
We went back inside, pontificated about our drinks
But all he kept talkin' about was
Nerdy Stuff!
All the licensed shit you'll buy!
Ne…

Jimmy got drunk one night from mixing Tanqueray and wine
Banged a blonde, shot a Blofeld,
Now they call him Agent 007

Lights out tonight, trouble in the heartland
Got a head-on collision, mashin’ up my shows man
I’m caught in a crossover I don’t understand
But there’s one thing I know for sure, GJI
I don’t give a damn
For the same old played out scenes,
I don’t give a damn
For tired reaction memes

Outside the vote's on fire in a real death waltz
Between Jeb Bush and Trump's fantasy
And the poets down here
Don’t write nothing at all, they just stand back and let Donald speak
And in the quick of the night they reach for their video
And try to make an honest meme
but they wind up wounded, not even dead
Tonight in…

In Tommy's room, there are pictures of his heroes on the walls
But to get to Tommy's room, you gotta walk the darkness of Tommy's hall
Strangers from the city call Tommy's number and bring him toys
When I come knocking he says "Oh, hi!"; he knows I wanna be Tommy's boy

“On the piano, the dean of the university of music perversity, Professor Roy Bittan!
On the guitar…the magnificent…the magnanimous…the inimitable…the disgusting, star of the Sopranos teleeeevision show, Little Steve Van Zandt!
On the bass guitar, from Neptune, New Jersey…weighing in at 145 pounds…a man whose mother was…

These motherfuckers left the Big Man out of the Jersey band!

Them boys in their spiked high heels
ah Sandy their skins are so white