It feels like the intro to a family-friendly sitcom on ABC’s early 90s TGiF line-up. In the best possible way

You did a pretty terrible job of giving up on Kotaku.

pfft, that crown in my opinion goes to the Xbox Life is Short ad

It’s pretty obvious that the pc port is garbage (in it’s current state) and they don’t want to show that to the public so they made up an semi-plausible excuse.

Oh yes because all those people who want to play the beta are going to be so upset learning spoilers for the undoubtedly AMAZING STORY.....

Idiot could have transported it in a carry case

Don’t care if you’re cosplaying—you don’t bring something that looks like a goddamned rifle on mass transit. Or even to a f*cking movie theater. Have we not learned these goddamned lessons yet?

Right here, just outside the car! (tires screech as car peels out, and away)

This is very similar to the “sandwiches” they serve at the Staggering Ox across Montana.

Where’s my gluten-free, vegan, fair trade option, Torch?

Still lots of annoying kids you can’t kill.

I like to think everything I did in the early 2000's was to spite Lars Ulrich

Gremlins

It’s an opinion. I’m stating it. I’m not forcing anybody to watch or not watch. I just think it’s obnoxious make a 30 second clip for the studio’s logo when their debut game is barely revealed to the public. Calling something obnoxious is not pretentious.

you are such a little turd. ‘tear you up’ it’s the comments on a gaming blog mate.