He blew his clav out on a sack

I have a bad feeling Dallas is looking at a 3rd string quarterback currently riding the pine in Cleveland

Dude, please learn what apostrophes do.

Only thing better would have been if the hood would have been made to look like the helmet and he would have had it pulled up the whole game.

When did I piss in your cornflakes???

To such a snarky response I might offer the equally snarky “if a joke has to be explained, it wasn’t that funny to begin with”.

Can't hear it enough. Laugh every single damn time.

No joke, not only does my dad subscribe to Consumer Report, but he saves literally every single one in his office closet. You can pull one out at random from 2002 talking about latest in DVD players.

Here’s a lame dad antic I look forward to. Going out to a family dinner, looking at the check, and saying to myself, “hmmmm lets take a look at the damage.”

Frankly, the only reason I want children one day is so I can fully embrace being the lamest dad ever.

Shit. My wife and I subscribe to Consumer Reports, I complain about our gutters all the time (especially the run over the damn sliding glass door, it’s too damn short to be efffective!), and while I don’t wear Sauconys, I have exclusively worn Asics Tigers for the last decade.

There’s nothing worse than a lame dad who doesn’t think he’s lame. Mike Greenberg is a great lame dad because he knows he’s lame. I bet he subscribes to Consumer Report and constantly complains about the gutters at his house, all while wearing Saucony running shoes. Cris Carter is the opposite. He feels obligated to…

Cool, cool. I mean I'm more of a fan of his deep cuts from back in the day but this is alright.

Start with The Stranger, Odell.

He hasn’t worn ‘8’ in, like, years

He’s really in no position to be talking shit at this point in his career. I mean when was the last time this has-been was relevant enough to justify his behavior? Do the right thing and retire, Spike.

I read that in Hannibal Burress’s voice and it worked well.

Man, if your comment is to shit on another man’s pride and joy, you need to step up your comment game.

Marc Trestman was kind of like an anthropomorphized, apologetic whisper that someone stuck a Bears hat on.

It was a weird two years here.