“I use a cudgel, or a large stick, or possibly a golf club. Bitch learn her place when she get iron in the face.”

That’s just not how we’re raised. As you can tell, like I said again, it’s the Bible belt. It’s just something that’s, I wouldn’t even say frowned upon, just something that’s nonexistent in most southern homes.

We’ve all been there.

After seeing your wife, Gary is doing you a solid...

In this country, Brown people don’t do well trying to assert themselves to authority figures.

The very act of getting a DUI is “making a fool out of yourself”. Let’s not hand out bonus points because she acted calmly about it.

It’s like the third-highest rated show on HBO or some shit. So certainly not getting cancelled or anything. But yeah, good job, good effort.

Dress in a way that will make the Yankees uncomfortable? So dress as a Yankees fan?

He still has a top rated show...yeap...lol

Everyone get over it, or you’ll get angry?

Wow, you got them all right, in the correct order, the first time! Deadspin writers always fail at that.

Bidi Bidi Bom Bom is the pump-up song for all activities in life.

That’s my plan, lil bud

Hey, you’ve got to be a tough bastard to manage Eagles scouts, not some kind of Eagle Scout.

Two separate, very meaningful, games were played yesterday. I learned this one trick that the media hates: If I don’t want to read something, I don’t click on it, then I don’t read it.

THE GAYS ARE RUINING TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE!

This is exactly the sentiment shared by so many delusional American fans. This 2nd tier on the international stage that you describe is comprised of the likes of England, Belgium, and the Netherlands. The substitutes on these squads would start every game for the US. We are nowhere near this level.

If your coffee didn’t taste like shit before, it does now. And it’s cold.