I’m 31 and text in complete sentences. My 39-year-old sister (who is a teacher) does not. Go figure.

Yeah...he could never be accused of trying too hard. We’ve been together a year and a half and I don’t think he’s tried to be romantical more than once or twice this whole time. But then again, I don’t wear makeup ever and am trying to convince him we need a pool party wedding reception, so.

NGL one of the reasons I agreed to go out with my boyfriend a second time was his impeccable use of a semi-colon in a text. *shrug*

I am special, so there.

Their relationship was over (and they were living separately) for several months before we met, so not really.

Mr. Brotherjo’s divorce became final a month ago - yay! - almost a year and a half into our relationship. (He had been separated for a few months already and we thought it would all be settled within six months of us getting together, stupid courts.) I’ve never been married before. We live together and by all accounts…

If it becomes a hobby for idle white people, it’s going to get more expensive.

(I say this as a person who has been known to spend more than $25 on yarn to make a pair of socks.)

Nine years ago on Thanksgiving I killed someone in a car accident.

Boyfriend is sitting across the couch from me reading this RIGHT NOW and we are both very disappointed that the Aussie guy who fucked his date really loudly on the patio didn’t make the top 30.

I was once fired for being female (I was not a receptionist), and was told as such by the female owner. I tried to bring that up during my unemployment hearing but she denied it and there was no written proof so I couldn’t collect a single penny. That was in 2008 and I’ve moved on to bigger and better things, but…

The receptionist for my (overwhelmingly female) grad school program is a guy. He’s goddamn spectacular too.

I once had a male boss try to fire me from a restaurant because he thought I didn’t “fit in.” All of the women he had personally hired were very skinny with visible tattoos. I’m fat and my ink is almost always covered up. (A different manager had hired me.) Thankfully the front of house manager went to bat for me…

I used to be fairly insistent that sleepovers happen whenever I had sex with someone, especially the first couple times. By the time I hit 30 and met Mr. Brotherjo three weeks later, I was over that. The first time I slept with him I couldn’t stay the night as I was housesitting elsewhere. The next few times I didn’t…

Yeah I read it for my book club a while ago. Definitely provoked some interesting conversations about fertility and ethics and so forth.

I can handle kids preschool age or older. It’s the preverbal ones who don’t do it for me. Adopting is ideal for me because I can skip all that diaper nonsense.

When I was 10 I overheard my grandmother telling my mom to lie about my age and sign me up for Weight Watchers (I think the youngest you can be to join the program is 13). My mom actually wanted to go along with it, which is why she’s not allowed to go wedding dress shopping with me.

Good thing I want to adopt an older child then. I am perfectly okay with skipping the terrible twos.

Isn’t this the plot of an Ann Patchett novel?

I used to work for a theater in California and once found a missed connection about my boss. It was hilarious. Even though she was in a closed monogamous relationship, we encouraged her to reply just for funzies. She did not. :-(

My favorite thing about the “On This Day” feature is when I can go back and delete posts/tags from exes, ex-friends, and so on.

My least favorite thing is that I’m currently reliving the 6 weeks I had mono five years ago.