I'm Jewish, and I once found myself talking to two annoying hippy Gentiles who had had a Jewish wedding. I looked at them and asked them why they thought it was okay to fetishize my culture. They didn't have an answer, and, shockingly, I never saw them again. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

My wedding invites are going to be sent by email and will contain a link to a Google form. No way am I going through the hassle of paper if I can help it. I am lazy and cheap.

Me and the dude are a little tipsy and we started reading reviews of the strip clubs in our city. None of the reviews are all that funny. :-(

I live in a majority-minority city. A former roommate of mine, who was white, became a teacher to "help all those poor minority kids." Who she hated. I don't know how I managed not to slap her in the face every day.

I live in a majority-minority city. A former roommate of mine, who was white, became a teacher to "help all those poor minority kids." Who she hated. I don't know how I managed not to slap her in the face every day.

I live in a majority-minority city. A former roommate of mine, who was white, became a teacher to "help all those poor minority kids." Who she hated. I don't know how I managed not to slap her in the face every day.

I would not mind if my partner learned how to cook more than the 5 things he currently makes. Those 5 things are spectacular, but...

A few months ago I was out to dinner with my parents and a friend in a diner in rural western Virginia. We all ordered sodas. Mine, as it turns out, had to have the syrup changed. This took so long that the server had to come over and tell me on three separate occasions that they hadn't done it yet. I finally gave up…

Just when I was starting to think maybe the world isn't so horrible after all.

I once knew someone who believed if she never ate meat and carbs in the same meal, she'd never get sick. From anything. Ever.

I once fell deeply in lust with an engineer, and in an attempt to get him to pay attention to me, I let him teach me how to count in binary on my fingers.

I used to work at a restaurant around here that had a lot of hype, mostly because of the exec chef. He turned out to be legitimately tyrannical and more obsessed with firing people because they forgot their nametags than producing quality food.

I grew up in an upper-middle class family (although my dad grew up dirt poor and never stopped acting like we had no money so it took me until adulthood to realize we were well-off). After college I became a member of the working poor and have stayed that way. I'm about to start grad school in the hopes that I can…

Oh my dog I just laughed myself into a stomach ache.

This didn't happen to me, but to a friend whose wedding I was in some time ago.

I just had to take one for one of my social work classes. For weeks afterward my classmates were all "Oh you're such a P!" like all the time. I think those stupid things are about as useful as a horoscope myself.

I have an ex who is asexual and I am definitely not so it didn't work out, no harm no foul. It's truly amazing the number of people who have decided I was the gross terrible bad person in that relationship for having a sex drive. We were not of compatible orientations. These things happen.

I used to work with a girl who was kosher and hated vegetables. Sitting next to her during a menu tasting was HELL. I "accidentally" kicked her a few times.

I dated a guy in 2012 who was still wearing his JNCOs. For all I know that hasn't changed. From that point onward I added "a sense of style" to my boyfriend must-have list. Not that Mr. Brotherjo is a paragon of fashion, but at least he knows how to exist in polite society.

My whole adult life I thought I was a body-positive, size-doesn't-matter person. Then I dated a dude with a micropenis and...well. He was a sweet guy but I just couldn't with that. I am not as good a person as I thought I was.