I ONCE HAD A DUDE DUMP ME BECAUSE I WAS TOO AMBITIOUS BECAUSE I WANTED A PHD MAYBE. Before that I didn't know that was a thing that happened.

I have a dear dear friend who says she doesn't see color and I swear if she brings that up in class one more time I will throw a textbook at her.

I'm 30, and I've been dating for about half my life. A few of my partners have been some flavor of feminist. One said he was but turned out to be a big fan of some MRA-leaning philosophers and behaved generally like an overgrown manchild. Two or three others said they were feminists, but in practice all that meant was…

There really isn't any. My best guess is she was confused about what meal we were serving, even though it was smack-dab in the middle of dinner service (like, this happened around 7pm) and the menu clearly said "Dinner." Maybe she had never been to a restaurant with different menus for different times of day before?

I have zero problem with my partner touching or kissing me while he jacks off if he's horny and I'm not, or if we're out of condoms but still want sexytime. I didn't realize this was not a thing.

My feller sometimes has trouble maintaining an erection. He's good-natured about it, but when it happened three times in a row recently I could tell it was bothering him. So over the weekend, even though I wasn't totally desirous of an orgasm my own self, I threw him a quickie during football. His mood instantly…

Questions collected from my time at a restaurant that wants to be high-end, but offers $5 pancakes on Saturdays:

1. Are the devilled eggs vegan?

I used to work for this one really bad temp agency. I quit one of the assignments they sent me on by calling the DM and reporting the anti-Semitic business manager and the numerous dead cockroaches all over the office, breakroom, and bathrooms.

Later, my pay for another assignment got screwed up and I got into a…

Well this makes me feel good about getting all of my medical care from VCUHS. Bah.

I like taking care of my feller for two reasons: (1) he also takes care of me and (2) if I didn't cook we'd eat takeout pizza like 99% of the time because he doesn't like to cook (although when he does, it's spectacular). We really do strive to keep our relationship fair and equitable as much as we can given our…

Every restaurant I've worked in since the GF craze started has had a dedicated GF area and often dedicated GF ingredients. And there is still always a chance of contamination. Flour gets airborne pretty easily no matter how hard you try.

I had a boss who claimed to have celiac, but I'm pretty sure she just said that as an excuse to be rude to servers.

No no, like I said, I will ALWAYS honor a request that has to do with an allergy if it's framed that way. But those people were totally buttheads about gluten-free pancakes, but clearly didn't actually have a medical need for them.

I propose an easy solution for the future: No RSVP, no attend. You don't RSVP and show up anyway, you're escorted back to your car with directions to the nearest Applebee's.

I work at the kind of restaurant that hosts fancy parties quite often. I'm totally okay with accommodating an allergy, religious restriction, or reasonable dietary whatever. I don't want to kill anyone or get them in trouble with their god. But like...be nice about it.

A few weeks ago a large family came in for…

I love books so much I'm dating a librarian. He doesn't do much with the public but he has some interesting stories.

I'm 30 and I've been hoping my parents would split up since I was 5 or so. They almost did, once, when I was 22, but mom went back to him after a couple weeks. I probably would be a lot more successful at relationships if I didn't have to witness my dad emotionally destroying my mom every day of my childhood. Thus,…

I had minor surgery a few years ago and my sister's cat slept by my side the whole time I was recovering at her house. He's my bestest buddy and very likely the great love of my life.

The current Mr. Brotherjo's dog prefers cuddling with me when she can choose between us. When I'm upset or hurt she can usually be found…

YOU ARE A BAD PERSON.

I can't wait to see stories about revenge on other servers.