That’s me! I don’t mind the Patriots, and I believe Brady is GOAT. But he totally broke the rules, and worse than that, lied like a smiling idiot about it. And then the NFL responded disproportionately in punishment. And now every Patriots fan thinks the NFL is out to get them because they just won too damn much. And…

Every non-Patriots fan:

There is no shortage of Canadian Deadspin readers.

My bad.

Here, have some more lube.

Does the author really think the CBA defines relations between the league and its member teams? Kind of stunning ignorance there.

Get your facts out of this circlejerk, sir.

This. The NFL can fine franchises as much as they want. This is a dumb article.

I thought the CBA was an agreement between the players union and the league. the teams are not parties to the CBA. Unless someone can kindly tell me how the fine limits in the CBA could apply to a non-party, there is no fine limit because there was never one to begin with

The only incriminating texts could be instructions as to how to deflate balls.

Dude, I despise Goodell more than anyone, but you’re fucking high.

You come find me when that civil lawsuit gets filed. I’ll be waiting. But please come to me when it is not and apologize for being a clown.

There is zero chance Brady is suing anyone, testifying or submitting anything under oath. Or Roger Clemens has taught him nothing.

In terms of NFL suspensions, Deflating balls = PED use.

Actually, I can’t tell what it means from the context, either. “Pre-conceived narrative”? “Typical perspective”? Unless you’re referring to the killer Uncle Tupelo album, “Anodyne” shouldn’t see these pages.

In that scenario, Bill Simmons slept with Hunter S Thompson’s mom.

I still read him occasionally, but it’s a lot rarer now, and probably mostly nostalgic. He’s not Rick Reilly. His basketball analysis is still good (albeit a tad under-edited). But he’s no longer an outsider, and it’s not just because the world moved around him. He moved toward the status-quo himself.

Jets, Giants, eh, whatever.

Serious answer: Katie Baker.

Jon Stewart: “Tommy...you cheating fucker.”

Deer ESPN,