i see you and i raise you:

If only there was a way to film those turkeys so they’d all fit in the shot at the same time instead of panning back and forth... Shame.

Meanwhile, the sponsored posts are healthy as ever.

“our hear.” Yeah, that’s about the intellectual level I expected.

Angela Lansbury has joined the cast of the film in an undisclosed role. 

You won’t be alone. You’ll have adopted eight or nine cats, if you haven’t already. (I am joking, of course.)

My grandmother still feels a little hope. Just the other day she told me that she was okay with it if I was a lesbian. Um...thanks? I’m not, but thanks for trying?

This is the one I usually go with-

Kylie M right now

This seems like such an odd thing for people to get their panties in a twist about. Between the Russians, voter suppression efforts, and Trump claiming the election was rigged I don’t see how taking a closer look at a couple of states can hurt, maybe it will help restore some confidence in our voting system. It’s…

Title Nein

Cowboy abuses Redskin woman.

No wonder he walks that way...

omg I needed a warning for Steven Tyler’s right foot.

The Owner of Gristedes Wants You and I Me to Know the Ice Cream Bandits Have Been Captured

That reminds me of my dad and how he’d drive his IROC-Z onto the court where I was playing youth basketball and skid that thing real close to me while I was trying to shoot a free throw. If I missed, he’d flick a cigarette at me, peel out, and I wouldn’t see him for months. If I made the shot he’d nod at me…

Can Nintendo be in charge of everything? Cuz that would be awesome.

Watched the re-run last night. Mrs. OneChopstick looked up from her phone just in time to catch the final stretch and remarked, “there’s no one even around her!” (thinking the US had such a dominating lead)