That announcer yelling “HERSTORY” with completely uncontained fervor is my new aesthetic

“I feel embarrassed, and I did not like how she treated me… that’s not a way I can make friends.”

She didn’t even do it right...this is how to deal with shoe issues:

i even hate it when he kiss my face too much. like get off my damn cheeks boy, i spent an hour on this.

Attention Black People:

This isn’t because she is grieving, she wanted more money.

This is all so confusing to me.

He’s got a Bob Durst vibe to him. Now I’m totally curious as to what happened to his finger.

According to the AP, the initial blast “sounded like lightning”

You have never had a proper rice pudding, dude. Like, with coconut. Not that sad rice with sugar and milk y’all call pudding. Same goes for tapioca. Bread pudding is ok and all but it is not technically a real pudding consistency.

MAKE MEXICO

Love when people are just so smart that they say something no one has thought of before. I know that I feel at my most clever when I am needlessly contrarian and void of empathy. It’s how smart people are.

Basically that was an hour of my life that I will never get back. I felt forced to sit through his speech (which we all know is pure torture) because they kept claiming he would be changing his polices. No such thing happened. In fact he doubled down and even talked about making LEGAL immigration more strict and…

Mass deportation will never ever ever happen, no matter how much they claim, and not just because the orange trashbag of tepid farts has no follow through, but because too many companies rely on illegal labor to allow politicians to deport their easily abused source of income.

This is something Americans say because their vanilla pudding comes with a coating of quotation marks and a flavour deriving from burnt sugar or whatever. If they ate real vanilla, they wouldn’t use the word pejoratively.

This is really bad optics for the movie theater. It’s penny-wise but pound-foolish; they may or may not get back that money, but the bad publicity should vastly outweigh it.

Maybe, maybe not. Would this theoretical atheist Congressman also spend his spare time demonizing women who choose to get an abortion based on his own version of morality, like this schmuck? Because if the answer is yes, then absolutely!

This guy isn’t just a creep online. He’s also a conspiracy theorist, xenophobe, homophobe, sexist and racist! Get ready for the quote, because he’s a terrible person and it’s a lot.

As an FSU Alumni, I admit that I had my usual “Fuuu...here we go again...” reaction when I saw Florida State trending all over social media yesterday. It’s nice to be surprised once in a while.

On the scat topic, what’s the deal with not letting anybody hear you poop? I get that it’s private but everybody does it. It’s not shameful to poop if you’re in the bathroom (on the toilet...). It is shameful to do while boarding an airplane. Or in the checkout line at the Rite Aid.