He looks like he’s about to climb into his black licorice hammock.

Yeah, I mean...she’s not wrong? I thought it was apt.

“I don’t know why you’d pretend to be homeless for a few days and call it a vacation” - My friend who is a wise wise human being

This, along with the fact that he’ll always be lovable dumb ass Andy Dwyer in my head.

I am well past the age for being of “the generation that prefers texts” but I do have a social anxiety when it comes to phone usage so texting has been a god damn lifesaver.

What were the chances any of these babies were actually going to see Wonder Woman other than to see how much her tits might come out of her costume?

I highly recommend the NYT’s article about Jared the Slumlord. Seems that little Jared gets his jollies suing poor people for tiny bits of money (to him, not to them).

So many things took me back to Eraserhead in the first 2 episodes. I was pretty sure a deformed chicken baby would pop any minute.

I’m sure he’s a nice person, but I find Sheldon so insufferable that I’m pretty sure I’d sucker punch Parsons if I saw him walking down the street. Everyone has that person, right?

Oh sweet baby Jesus, is that one of his nicknames? I happen to share it due to the spelling of my last name. Ugh.

This was on the news when I was at my parents house and I had to explain what an IUD was to my Dad.

I was never a fan, I didn’t find his constant breaking on SNL funny, but I enjoyed him when he was in a later time slot where he did weird things like “Let Us Play With Your Look”. He doesn’t have to be political but ruffling Trump’s hair was just beyond the pale for me.

They look like a set of burnt sienna crayons.

Not only exhausting but...like you really have that many people interested in having sex/being in a relationship with you? I was 27 before I could get a guy to even look at me sideways. After we broke up I was single for 6 years. If it works for you, great, but seriously...what is the secret?

I remember watching her burst into tears when she found out he was actually hump backed, and that it wasn’t something Shakespeare or his enemies made up. Detach already, jeez.

That is some Looney Toons shit right there.

“Sunburned thumbs”...that is apt.

I want to see Trump in an orange jumpsuit, shuffling in leg irons. By then he won’t have been allowed his self tanner for so long it’ll be the only thing orange about him.

Step 1: Beaches, rappers and tits

For real, I’m only complaining because I’m jealous. But I’m a natural worrywart and I don’t think you can worry much to do these things. Also...who’s watching my cats? I’d miss the cats.