Going to wait and see until next year when I get married and get on Future Husband’s insurance. Right now it’s an impossibility.

I’d cut off one of my own boobs for a free breast reduction...oh, wait...might have to come to that!

I’ll be getting married for the first time next year. I’ll be almost 44. Everyone is asking if I’ll be having a baby. I just...can’t with it anymore. I have spoken of my non-desire for kids for almost 30 years. It’s like they want to win some contest I never agreed to be in.

He was a great comedic actor, which we tend to forget now. This is one of my favorite line readings ever:

You just know he’s come back with “Well why did they let me do it then?”

There is nothing more beautiful than my Wegmans on my way home from work, at 11:30 pm. Unless you need a rotisserie chicken or something from the deli.

My mother had a similar experience around the same time. Her OB/GYN, a stubborn, old Polish Catholic, wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. She was slowly getting sicker and sicker. When she finally miscarried, the fetus was no where as far along as she thought she was. She must have been carrying a dead fetus for…

Ugh I have bad dry eye and TSPK (a cornea condition in which my corneas swell) and this is the reason I don’t use it. WTF.

We would consistently find these in the “metaphysics” section of the Borders I worked at 2 decades ago. I get handed one at least once a week at my job now (I work with large swaths of the public). Got this just last week:

I know he came back for a short run, I would have loved to have seen him.

Of the many reasons he should have never hosted SNL, you would think this would have been top of the list.

Maybe if they brought back John Cameron Mitchell. Yes I know he’s probably too old now. But I never bought Doogie Howser in the role.

I will sell my soul to wear this as my wedding dress.

Jack White issued “Icky Trump” tees after one of their songs got used in (an albeit unofficial) Trump video. Everyone is losing their shit on FB, how he’s lost fans, he shouldn’t be making money on it etc. The last verse of Icky Thump is about how we’re all immigrants but I have a feeling no one actually noticed.

Just as the election of an African-American president made some people shocked - shocked I tell you! - to find that racism still exists, the idea of our first female president has found us not so shocked to find that Mad Men-style misogyny is still with us. Teach kindergarten?  Fuck off Donny.

Yes! I was always jealous of the kids who got to play. I grew up in Buffalo but we got WPIX on cable. I Dream of Jeannie every day at 11:30, always broken up with commercials for Evita.

Yeah, I used “convention” in a broad sense, they wouldn’t (and couldn’t at this point) convene the way they did in Cleveland. It would be an unprecedented legal and logistical nightmare all around.

If it puts you more at ease, I believe Pence would not automatically be put in the running if Trump dropped out/was ousted. Republicans would pretty much have to put together another convention, those running before would have to reactivate their campaigns, and since Pence wasn’t running in the first place...also…

I debated clicking on it for fear of a sad ending.