I played Star Wars and wedding and my Barbie dated my Han Solo doll. I have my future wedding stage managed down to the minute but you know, in a fly casual kind of way.

Oh yeah, my full first and last name don’t fit on my driver’s license. Just my first initials and last name.

Ha no, but there is a -ski on the end of it.

My current bf has a great last name and, combined with my first name, it would make me sound like a member of the X-Men. He’s a great guy but god damn would that be a bonus.

I have already added “Let me let you let me run” to my vocabulary.

I for real thought they were going to kiss. Kind of disappointed they didn’t.

Nailtiques was the only thing that saved my peely nails when I finally went cold turkey on chewing on them the 80th time. It actually stuck because they actually grew and stopped peeling. Now I get compliments on my nails and I tell people that a year and half ago they were disgusting bloody stumps.

I don’t think anyone is advocating just dumping them in the ocean to fend for themselves. Sea pens would be a good option. They could be fed and monitored that way. It would be nice to see them get a taste of their natural environment before they die. Can’t be worse than where they are now.

That link you provided...so...much...velvet.

My friend was horrified when I told her what I spent at Lame Bryant on my bras. She didn’t realize I can’t just pick up a AA cup on clearance at Marshalls for $4.50 like she does.

THANK YOU. I’m a toll collector. That letter from the MTA employee made me tear up. I’m just trying to pay my god damn rent, ya know?

This. I was talking to a friend yesterday who told me about her in-laws. They are Trump supporters who also absolutely believe that Nazis live on the dark side of the moon.

Truth. I’ve tried making several of the online so-called duplicate recipes and they don’t come close.

Wow. I’ve never read a more cogent explanation of myself than that last sentence.

Yeah, maybe “boring” was the wrong word to use.

Ah, I get it. Like he’s got FOMO about the littlest thing. Yes that would be annoying. I was basing my comment more on the fact that I know a lot of people who refused to watch his stand up based purely on his character on Parks & Rec.

I think a lot of people confuse him with his Parks & Rec character, which would indeed be exhausting. Aziz seems like an OK guy. I kind of imagine him being boring in real life.

I live in and grew up in Buffalo. I am also allergic to sports. I will second other commenters by saying, just please, save yourself the effort.

It was an interview with Sarah Vowell, during the 2008 election. I posted the quote down thread somewhere. Here’s the video: