My wife took me to Texas de Brazil for my birthday one year and expected sex afterwards. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, LADY.

When doing self-checkout at the grocery store, do you bag each item after you scan it, or do you set the items aside and bag them all as a group when you’re done with the whole batch?

Ballpark seat man can fuck RIGHT off. There is nothing worse than getting to your seat in the third inning after hitting traffic and some fat homer is already parked in it spilling beer and peanut shells everywhere. Then they give you a dirty look like you’re inconveniencing him and make a big production out of…

Is shame what is happening to Tony Romo. I used to live in Texas when i live in US. He seems like very nice person. He gets blamed for many problems outside his control. For many years, he makes bad Cowboy teams better I think.

That’s where I think you’re wrong. You can’t assume that Sanders would begin from where HRC is now and add more (regardless of his favorables, which I’m betting would plummet once he was exposed to sunlight), especially since she’s been successful in pealing off some traditional GOP blocs (chiefly white women and…

Socialism: Potentially appealing to half the country if the only other option is racist, sexist, and quasi-fascist. Catch the fever!

Pffft, when all of those out of work coal miners get their free Liberal Arts degrees you Bernie Bros are going to be eating some serious crow.

Negative interest? What does he look like, a Japanese bank?

He was a soulless ginger so you can’t really kill something that was never truly alive to begin with. 

What are they gonna do with the other 11.5 mil?

Oh, sure. People get upset about these covers displaying outdated caricatures of Native Americans, but no one says anything about these yuppies pretending they’re athletes.

“Jeez...You can’t honor anyone now a days.”
-Dan Snyder

Thanked them for their apology without demanding anyone be fired and/or imprisoned? Come on, college kids!

“I think Obama did actually a fantastic job. My conservative friends hate me for saying that, but I said it to Milo. I think actually if we have four more years of Obama I’d be quite happy.”

Avant-’tard

Because not every Net Operating Loss scenario is as large or egregious as Trump’s.

Sounds like exactly what we should do with the blacks, gays, mexican’s, and arabs.

“Our culture is filled with bars and strip clubs on every corner.”

Let’s remember some guys!

The Big Hurt putting the...big hurt in Borders’s bangers and mash:

This is the BEST!!! HA!