Somebody sliced up a heaping helping of condescension in their Cheerios this morning

Maybe this makes me an asshole, but I don't care: a couple of days ago I was picking up my son at daycare. Some tool pulled in his car nose-first, taking up two parking spots. Every other spot in the lot was full, and the street was packed too due to construction. So I parked long-ways behind the tool, blocking him…

1. Take the oil

I heard I was part of a scenario about her value or something? And she then threw shade at me without knowing me at all. Does she own me in fantasy football? Sounds like the same messages I get from those people.

“I never want any problems with anybody in this world.”

Here was a particularly phony and dishonest line of argument, which went basically unchallenged by The Ringer’s reporter (emphasis mine):

College football in person, NFL on TV.

So they cut out a useless middleman. Sounds like good business to me.

Fair point. But prove Mark Wahlberg couldn’t have stopped 9/11. #ThePatriotWay

Elliott say Thompson was never even his girlfriend, just someone he hooked up with before. All the girlfriend talk comes from her end.

Plus RG3 was dynamite until he ruined his leg in that playoff game. Never know what could have been, but the Skins were right to make that deal. If you can draft a superstar QB, you do it at any cost. The Colts are basically the worst team in the league + Andrew Luck, but they have gotten three 11-5 seasons, 3 playoff…

Damn, how did they xerox text messages? Every time I try that it just prints out black.

You are correct. The reason these comment sections aren’t funny is that the articles usually get cross-posted to jezebel.

The transition for Wentz won’t be as bad. There isn’t a huge talent leap between the last team he played against (Jacksonville State University) and the next team he plays (Cleveland Browns).

Typical racist police department always believing the Ayrin girl.

Pictured: Collin Christopher

Police became suspicious when Elliott’s girlfriend claimed she was able to grab the bottom of his shirt during the fight.

“Like I told Zeke this morning, don’t worry about any of this, they don’t make batteries domestically anymore”

- Emmitt Smith

It’s actually a professional term. Doctor’s are doctor’s; chefs are chefs; presidents are presidents; coaches are failures in the booth; officers are officers... etc.

I say this in all seriousness- if I lived anywhere in the immediate vicinity of that monstrosity, I’d visit it every day, as part of my daily affirmations (which I do not currently have, but which I would begin to have)- “You see that, Zukka? Look at it. One day this could be YOU riding into war with Battle-Panthers,…