Elliott say Thompson was never even his girlfriend, just someone he hooked up with before. All the girlfriend talk comes from her end.

Plus RG3 was dynamite until he ruined his leg in that playoff game. Never know what could have been, but the Skins were right to make that deal. If you can draft a superstar QB, you do it at any cost. The Colts are basically the worst team in the league + Andrew Luck, but they have gotten three 11-5 seasons, 3 playoff…

Damn, how did they xerox text messages? Every time I try that it just prints out black.

You are correct. The reason these comment sections aren’t funny is that the articles usually get cross-posted to jezebel.

The transition for Wentz won’t be as bad. There isn’t a huge talent leap between the last team he played against (Jacksonville State University) and the next team he plays (Cleveland Browns).

Typical racist police department always believing the Ayrin girl.

Pictured: Collin Christopher

Police became suspicious when Elliott’s girlfriend claimed she was able to grab the bottom of his shirt during the fight.

“Like I told Zeke this morning, don’t worry about any of this, they don’t make batteries domestically anymore”

- Emmitt Smith

It’s actually a professional term. Doctor’s are doctor’s; chefs are chefs; presidents are presidents; coaches are failures in the booth; officers are officers... etc.

I say this in all seriousness- if I lived anywhere in the immediate vicinity of that monstrosity, I’d visit it every day, as part of my daily affirmations (which I do not currently have, but which I would begin to have)- “You see that, Zukka? Look at it. One day this could be YOU riding into war with Battle-Panthers,…

He had a contract. She settled.

Abba Zabba, you my only friend.

“I am a master of the custodial arts... or a janitor, if you want to be a dick about it.”

I broke my arm when I was 13. When they took off the cast, my tendons had healed a little too tight. I found out that I could throw a baseball incredibly fast. I got signed to a major league team and did really well closing out games. I eventually reinjured my arm later in the season and had to retire. But I’ll always…

Genius Bar Manager: JK, we need to talk about your piercings.

Accessibility is advancement.

“I for one am sick of dealing with men who choose not to empathize.”

I can’t relate to “what if this happened to me?” I can only relate via my relationship with women. I have never been sexually or physically victimized and have little chance of it ever happening to me. So I’m trying to sympathize as best I can.

I am a son, brother, husband, and father to the women and girls in my life