It looks like he’s wearing some of their curtains. Huh. As if white curtains in a Burger King wasn’t weird enough.

THIS. Gets me every time. It makes no sense, everybody loses, nobody wins. I despair for humanity.

Your post was the first thing to make me actually laugh out loud today. I can picture this so perfectly :)

My family had to do that once. On a car trip when we were moving from Mildura, Victoria to Mt Isa, Queensland. It’s a very long way. In their drugged out stupor they gnawed on the upholstery and fucked up our pristine eighties mazda 626 interior. Difference though, this was a dog and a cat but still: wouldn’t…

If there was a donkey at my wedding it would NOT be safe from some florification. No animals would be. all flowers all the time!

OK just read more and turns out I REALLY don’t get it, something something new dude with garter puts it on person who caught the bouquet? I got that alllll wrong. I thought it was the husband. Ghhhhh.

Your story was my first actual lol of the day :)

I'm not sure I even understand what the point of the garter thing is. I've never been to a wedding where its been done, and I've only seen it in movies. ??. Maybe it's more of an American thing. I don't actually know. I've got three weddings coming up this year, and I really doubt any of these people are going to do…

Yeah I'll have a good think overnight as well. I feel like this is important work we're doing here, it deserves attention.

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

I found the actual portion sizes part of things very helpful in actually realising what was considered appropriate. Now I use my newfound knowledge of this for things like ‘shit, this steak is six portion sizes’, ‘half a kilo of chips is not an appropriate portion’ and ‘crap, Caterina, one bottle of shiraz is not an…

This was a very moving comment. I don't really know what to say, but much empathy your way.

That kombucha probably has its own kids and a university education now.

My mother, in one of her weirder fads, got the culture starter thingy for kombucha when I was in high school. She kept it in a bucket in our laundry and she named the resulting snot slime monster 'Lionel'. Lionel lasted in his bucket for ages, my mother trying to get us to drink this fucking revolting tea ‘for our…

I’d have a personal masseuse - someone matronly, with big strong hands, who would just hang around with me and give me massages all the time. At the bank? Massage. Having lunch? Massage. It would be quite weird for everyone else, but great for me. One caveat - they have to be really well read, but particularly in the…

Neither. It's nought. You know, zero. Noughties. Not an uncommon term for the years 2000-2009.

His face is sooo funny! 'You will all pay for this. All of you!'

Good on you for telling us about the 'showering less' thing, apparently we all shower too much and it's doing bad things for both us humans and the environment.

Whenever I hear that phrase I always picture middle aged men playing minesweeper or solitaire endlessly before heading home to a long night of reality tv. It's that douchey.

Wow I have never heard this tip and it sounds like it makes complete sense! Thanks! I always thought the white thing looked strange.