I'm sure the couple didn't give a shit because OMG JHud! Their wedding cannot be topped by any of their friends wedding now. They have official bragging rights.

Can you complain about Chris Brown, Sean Penn, Charlie Sheen and Bill Cosby though? Use your powers for good.

Solution: only complain about Fox News in the future.

I volunteer to be the much younger woman! Sorry, husband.

Prediction: Hamm will be married to a much younger woman, and become a father within a couple of years.

SEA TURTLES WHY ISNT SHE HELPING OTHER HUMANS GOD

Only child, here. This is 100% accurate for me:

Same, tbh. I’ll share a lot of things, but my food is MY food. I’ll share if I know I can’t eat it all, and sometimes, not even then.

OMG MY DAD TOO. Are you sure you’re an only child? ;)

I’m an only child but the only reason I didn’t learn to share until college was because if you shared anything with my dad it would be GONE.

i think i’m fairly unselfish; however, i’m as predatory as a fucking dog when it comes to my food. i’ll offer some to you, but don’t take too much of your share, etc. and don’t you dare assume i want to share it with you.

The response I have formulated after 9+ years of being asked when we are going to “give” our daughter a sibling: “After three miscarriages it became apparent that my uterus is for decorative purposes only. But thanks for reminding me about the most painful and heart-wrenching experience I’ve ever had while also…

My observation as a sworn parent of an only child who’s been forced to endure twin nephews and various iterations of kid’s playdates?

You laugh, but I once saw someone try to argue that safety features in cars encourage people to drive dangerously, and thus cause more accidents.

You know what else encourages sexual activity amongst young people?

Oregon’s Catholic Conference also opposed the bill, saying it would “encourage sexual activity” among young people.

Canned frosting is made out of Satan’s semen. ^_^

2 things that may cause Pinkham to re-grey me (assuming that’s possible):

Actually, when deconstructed, the transaction is far simpler: I’m paying him money to cook food that I will then consume. He can judge me all he wants, as long as the meat on my plate looks like I envisioned it when I placed the order. I am not doing it out of spite or to purposely “offend” him with my “rudeness”. I…

Real Red Velvet cake is nearly impossible to replicate with current ingredients, something about the buttermilk reacting with the anthocyanin in cocoa but most modern cocoa powders are lacking.