“I Don’t Need Your Pithy: A woman’s journey through the comment sections, while sitting on her ass, under cats.”

It’d be all my comments ever, in random order and without context, interspersed with Haiku about the human experience.

If I had to write a memoir these are the titles I could work with:

A friend said this earlier today, and I think it’d be an excellent memoir title: “I Don’t Remember Doing That, But It Seems Like Something I Would Do.”

Where’s my cell phone? oh next to the toilet with my dignity (and other stories)

Come sit next to me, Loose_Seal, we can speculate all about Blue Ivy, Suri Cruise, and Shiloh Jolie’s memoirs. I have literally been waiting for Suri’s since the day she was born. CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE I CAN I CAN IMAGINE. And I do!

Lesbian Shitass.

I can’t wait until Suri Cruise and the Brange brood are all grown up. I can’t wait to read their memoirs.

No squirrels. Fuck that. They’re angry little furdemons.

Ah, Wasilla. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

I’m picturing some Beetlejuician bureaucratic office where new ghosts are told they are being assigned to the “Charlie Charlie” desk.

How long after I summon the demon do Sam and Dean Winchester show up to save me? Because....get me some pencils...

Fuck recreational farting though. NO EX BOYFRIEND IT WASN’T CUTE IT WAS NEVER CUTE FUCK YOU. I should’ve dumped his fart-y ass for that reason and saved myself the trouble.

Millennial, but at the upper end. Most people start the generation in either the early or mid eighties. A better metric might be to ask what generation your parents are in. If your parents were Boomers, and your grandparents Greatest Generation then you’re a millennial.

True. I was born in 82, so I’m on the old end of the millennial generation, and some of my friends are on the young end of gen x. Almost everyone in my social group who blabs about such things has had many more than 8 partners. Like, several multiples of 8 in most cases.

One visit to the state fair and you will realize that even ugly people fuck.

I’m 30, so I’m in that weird pocket of time were I’m not gen x but don’t feel like millennial really fits either. Maybe it’s also because I’m married and married people are notorious for not having that much sex, but sex just isn’t that high priority for us. It’s nice, we like it, but we also like Netflix and talking…

I don’t even know what generation I am. I was born in 82. From various accounts I’m either a young Gen Xer, an old millennial, or some strange generation in between. I seem to have some characteristics in common with both.

I feel like you have to take into account that millenials are younger than these other generations, so it would make sense for us to not have had as many partners as them as of yet.
Although I only scanned the article, so they might have addressed that.

The average number of partners for Millenials is 8? Like ever? My friends and I must be making up for whole platoons of celibate-until-marriage fundies.

New theory: millenials are uglier than their parents.