Thanks, Doc, but it ain’t a thing. The people making me cry are the doctors and nurses. Nobody knows where the gunmen are, nobody knows who or what is safe, and these awesome humans are ready to respond not just here, but at the scene. Just point ‘em toward the bleeding people and get out of the way.

I read that the President was “briefed on the situation.” I have to assume by now his reaction is similar to mine in that it involves throwing shit and hollering “GODDAMMIT” at the top of his lungs.

I have to go watch the pediatrician baby video again

You say Linda Evangelista, and now I see it, and I cannot get “Freedom ’90” out of my head:

So last friday i went to a friend’s brother’s birthday party at a bar, i didn’t know anyone except the one guy. I was talking to him for about 15 seconds when this girl came up to say something to him, then looked at me and started losing it. She had cut my hair the day after Halloween and remembered who I am and…

An alternate headline for this piece could be, “Is My Weird Lust for Tom Hiddleston Clouding My Judgment, Oh God”

My husband destroyed a friendship of my daughter’s by falling asleep on the couch during their play-date (they were 7 years old). The mom wouldn’t let her kid come to our house anymore since apparently my husband can’t be counted on to stay awake. That kid is now one of the middle school kids who smokes, chases boys…

Your point about the medicine is spot on. My dad is a doctor and my mom pretends to be. She is constantly stressed about medicine interactions and getting too dependent on medicines.

It’s really not any grosser and meaner than anything else we eat, though. And from the sound of it, these animals have vastly better lives than the factory-farmed cows, pigs and chickens we eat every day.

This comment is wild. No long-term-viable weight management strategy involves not being allowed to have gravy on Thanksgiving. The bizarre idea that weight-loss necessarily involves restricting to the point of “4 oz of turkey and a little corn” actually fuels a lot of health issues in the US.

And how about not telling fat people to “just not eat like a pig”? It’s insulting and even slim people overeat on thanksgiving. If you made comments like that to any other group of people, no one would stand for it. But because it’s overweight people, you can show no sympathy and say almost anything negative and no…

You are missing the point. Everyone here is basically saying oh these stupid fatties, blaming their fatness on others. The people who were upset about the ap going down are the ones who would be the ones who cared enough to write it down. They were not people blaming the lack of app for gaining weight. And my cable…

Ya gotta ask yourself, how much safety is too much safety? And the answer is that drinking, macho, entitled off-duty police officers with a hero complex carrying concealed firearms with a shit-ton of other football fans present in an enclosed space is TOO MUCH SAFETY.

That part of the comment was dripping with sarcasm.

You sound like my State Trooper cousin. We were taking about a local Sherriff who REQUIERED all of his deputies to carry off duty. Her reaction? What happens if I am in a car wreck? Then my gun is there for anyone. Or what if my jacket rides up and I freak out a jumpy security guard? Or any of the multiple emergency…

Cop here. So let me get this straight...the five shot snub nose revolver I will conceal in my pocket (that isn’t terribly accurate outside of 7 yards) is the one piece of equipment that will stop the terrorists (packing bombs and automatic weapons?

Counterpoint: The authorities know what real child porn looks like. The gestapo is not kicking down your door because someone sent you a meme of a kid peeing or a holiday calendar featuring their kids happily splashing in a bath.

“I have never felt more justified making my mom cry when I ripped into her” - this tells everyone everything they need to know about you.

Until you are issued discovery requesting the specific info/documentation or the information/documentation at issue is subpoenad - you are under no obligation to maintain it.

I’m an associate attorney at a large family law firm. I spend an inordinate amount of time (for which I’m billing) combing through facebook and instagram profiles looking for bad shit my client’s ex and my client post on the internet.