Eh, I dunno. I don't celebrate Eid, but I told all the Afghans I worked with "Eid Mubarak!" when I was in Afghanistan. It's just kind of a polite thing to do, when you're in a country where the majority celebrates a holiday, even if you don't partake.

As far as I'm concerned, leading a discussion of the Aggies' achievement with "Hook 'em Horns" is the funniest thing ever. A true gem of a Christmas present. I reckon both sides will be offended although I'm quite delighted by it.

Beiber needed more time to pursue his true calling, banging South American prostitutes while shouting "Who looks like a lesbian now!" and furiously sobbing.

NOPE. NOT A MISTAKE. LONGHORNS FOR LIFE. SORRY AGGIES. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS ONE. HAHAHAHAHA.

Joan, if you're going to make a living being a snarky bitch, and judging people for how they dress, don't get pissed off when people call you out for being a snarky bitch that judges people for how they dress.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks that "Tarder Sauce" was/is a terrible attempt at a coverup for a name.

I was thinking I've had a crush on him for decades now, since Room with a View.

It's not just you. He has aged very well.

Emma was against Manny's abortion because Emma was incapable of realizing not everything was about her, and she drew similarities between Manny and her mother. If Spike had an abortion, Emma would not be standing there to lecture Manny about what she should and shouldn't be doing. (I am ALMOST positive that a line…

I really liked the way the original Degrassi covered it. One of two Christian, previously anti-abortion twins got pregnant at summer camp. I can't remember if it was Heather or Erica who got pregnant. The non-preg twin was initially against the abortion but eventually decided to support her sister and accompany her…

If we're talking about a traditional breakfast at Denny's, then Chiwetel's character is probably a giant ham-ball waffle dipped in syrup and then fried in pancake batter, sausage grease and the tears of a vegan. There probably are some cheesy potatoes involved as well.

Crackers:

Ours was turning everything even remotely vacuum shaped into a vacuum, so we just bought him a little hand held vacuum. A toddler with a Dust Buster is almost as good as a Roomba.

The thing about the Duck Dynasty crew is that it's all a put on. The family was your run-of-the-mill millionaire whitebread family where dad had developed and sold and marketed a very successful duck call. They put on this act specifically for this show and it's about as real as a three dollar bill. The beards, the…

I watched "Clueless" last week for the first time in a thousand years ... probably the first time I knew going in who Paul Rudd was. It was probably also the last movie I saw Alicia Silverstone in. So I was frankly kind of creeped out, because Alicia was clearly a teenager, but in my mind Paul was about my age…

I laughed so hard at every joke in this piece people think I have Robin Williams in my office doing stand-up from 1986. OMG. OMG Lindy.

My darling Lindy,

Oh shit oh shit, wait, this quote is making me have all sorts of feels.

Well...Good luck with that.