You left out one of the top searches:

My cousin had a fancy East Coast wedding. We lived in Minnesota. My mother wore a perfectly good “Midwest Fancy” dress and looked great in it, but for the rest of her life she moped about showing up in her “midwest dullsie” amongst all the rich East Coasters. I wasn’t there, but I would have showed up in whatever I…

Truth. I have two sister in laws who have not spoken to each other for a decade because one of them wore flip flops to the others wedding.

My fave was:

 This was a dinner, next day, after our courthouse thing. So it was casual, but khaki casual, not denim casual. 

I love it when someone with ideals and a good spirit turns it all away and becomes a soulless corporate drone.

Wearing jeans, t-shirts, sandals or shorts to weddings is a big no, unless it’s explicitly listed as acceptable attire. And crocs are not acceptable even then.
If nothing else is said, I’d go with black tie, and if it says casual dinner, drop the tie and cummerbund and go with an unstarched shirt.

I’m stuck on mobile kinja for a few days, so it takes ten minutes to respond, but I described them in another response... that’s my deal, I thought all the variants were types of “sandals.” I was asked if I had sandals for the trip, and held up what I had just bought... she said “Those aren’t sandals.”

Hah. I had to go to an event around 10 years ago that listed the dress code as “country club casual”.  I went somewhere between Caddyshack and Business Casual.

I wore Keens to my own wedding in Montana. 

“slides” have a single, wide band that goes over the arch of your foot. Tevas are a brand name of sandal with many straps... think rubber version of Birkenstock.

Wait, I’m Midwest and I only know the first two. Wth are the rest?

the only faux pas would have been if either of them were wearing socks with sandals or flip flops.

To be fair I’m in the mountain west, and strongly differentiate the first two, while the latter is a brand of the first.

Funny you mention... my wife got super upset with me years later, planning a vacation, when I didn’t correctly parse the differences between “sandals” “flip flops” “slides” and “tevas.” Language in the Midwest, it seems, is very precise.

Sandals ok? 

Ugh... When I got married, I made the mistake of describing the restaurant where we had dinner as "Midwest fancy" to my West coast family.  The nuance between jeans and khakis got real, guys.

Ask Betsy. But she probably wouldn’t know.

I thought we already decided on separate and (not) equal. This can’t be legal. Do they receive ANY federal funding?