This assumes the luxury of being in a position to search out jobs that fit who you are and don’t just pay the bills. Correct me if I’m mistaken, most people don’t really have that luxury, do they?

Why should the emotional and psychic health of office workers be seen as less important than the emotional and psychic health of writers and artists?

At a very corporate job I had once, I had the opportunity to work very closely with one of the more “likeable” and “popular” guys in my department. So I studied him to see what he had that I didn’t, as I’ve always had issues being an outlier and “the office weirdo.” Eventually it became clear that what he had that I…

I’m a boy. I am currently winding down a run of therapy for the need to be likable and pleasing to others. Some of us fall into that trap as well, but I’m a feminist too so I figure it’s a good trade off.

You fucked up because I like you now.

Yes! I know Adichie isn’t saying you should be a raging bitch to everyone all the time, and I totally get and agree with what she is saying: girls and women are encouraged to tie our self-worth to what other people think of us, and consequently we spend way too much time trying to change and conceal and lie about what…

I will say from experience, it is a much rougher road. A lot of things don’t come your way. People (bosses) think you don’t work hard enough or have the passion because you are not trying to curry their favor.

Oh, baby voices are nails on the chalk board. I do feel sorry for someone that repressed though. The one person I know that genuinely does get along with everyone is profoundly boring, but I don’t hate her...so yeah, I guess I get along with her too.

Riiiight? Immediate side-eye. That means you’re a people-pleaser. A coworker is like this. Talks in a baby voice and just wants everyone to like her. Except she’s a mean drunk and will tell you what she really thinks when she's a few cocktails deep. It’s hilarious/sad.

Well for the internet I’ve got it down pat. Now just to transfer that skill set to real life...

Yeah I’ve wondered about how far you have to take faking it and when do you begin betraying the core of who you are vs. getting along. No one wants to be in high school past the age your are actually in high school, but sometimes you need to do it? If everyone at your new job is into crossfit, should you go just to be…

True, you can’t make people see you as an extrovert if you’re not (and I tried). But if my boss tells me that I need to smile, and I have had such bosses, I will put aside my pride and put a smile on my face. I can’t afford to blithely quit jobs.

I agree but to a certain extent you can’t manipulate how other see you. I hate to talk about being a “minority” again, but there are people who won’t consider me likeable or strike up a friendship with me because they assume things about my character, or are upset when there assumptions are not true. It can be…

I am not, nor have I even been likable.

I like the basic idea here, but the truth is that a lot of your success in life depends on how people see you. I lost the best job I ever had because my boss thought I lacked energy and bemoaned my introverted qualities. I can’t afford to let my true self out in my public life because people in my working life haven’t…

Thanks for the Boner Report.

Go with mad.

What the f......OH MY GOD THIS DOES FUCK ALL TO HELP CURE BREAST CANCER.