“When I said diamond in the rough, this is so not what I meant...”

It’s like a junior in a college fine arts program did a costume collection inspired by Clueless and bath salts to represent the isolation of modern life in a digital age and the fleeting, spastic moments we try to create fun.

The issue is whether or not they put info in the syllabus. For example, in one college class we were watching an ethnographic video to learn about agrarian economies and the main guy they were following started beating his wife on the camera. No idea why. It was graphic. NOTHING in the syllabus would prepare me that…

“It worked for Warren Jeffs!”

Yeah, this bullshit makes Lindsay Graham seem like a good choice to me.

The one near me always smelled of urine. I stopped going there a few years ago, so I don’t know if this is a current problem.

If your skin is burning from hot pepper contact, ketchup helps it chill the fuck out.

Depending on his income and number of dependents on his taxes, he might not pay extra for not having insurance.

It’s like the best antioxidents possible because the fetuses weren’t ever exposed to our toxic environment, full of all its toxins and autism-causing vaccines.

While I agree that her face is definitely photoshopped on, I’m referring to Superman’s eyebrow, hence the use of “his” and “he’s”.

Did they glue an eyebrow on weird? His forehead doesn’t actually look like he’s emoting with that eyebrow.

It’s almost enough to make me want to go back to mass.

It’s really about ethics in Shark Journalism.

Yeah, I got nothing helpful for you.

Yeah, there’s a huge difference between “NO MEAT EVAR!!1!!!” and “instead of a giant chicken breast with dinner every night this week, I’ll make a stir fry that uses 1 giant chicken breast and makes 4-5 meals.”

Yeah, my family recipe for chili follows this ratio - 1 lb of ground beef, 1 can of beans — and some chopped onion and peppers. I make mine with 1 can of diced tomatoes, 2 cans of beans, half a pound of ground beef or turkey, and some veggies. You can’t taste the difference, and I get more meals out of the pot than…

Ugh! You forgot trying to steal rights from god-fearing, white Christian men!

A cousin tried this with me when I was about 7 and his mom came downstairs right when he was taking his pants off. My aunt put an end to that shit right there.

Why does she have 2 different manicures? Was she so distracted by the ominous presence of her chin fat that she decided “fuck it! french on my left hand, soft pink on my right!”?

That kind of critical thinking can only come from an institution of learnun associated with our politicians.