Something something terrible shot something something

The last dude Ortiz fought, Tony Thompson, looked like the most generic create a fighter from Fight Night. Guy was just there to take his beating.

There’s a saying, “Every man is put on Earth condemned to piss, time and method of execution unknown.” Perhaps this is as it should be. Case in point: Walter Bedeker, lately deceased. A little man with such a yen to piss. Beaten by the devil, by his own piss, and by the scheme of things in this, the Twilight Zone.

Wally would never try to kill me in my sleep. He told me so. That kind of communication is very important in a father-son relationship.

Hopefully he learned from the Super Bowl and runs it up the middle.

From:Grandma

When police arrived at the scene, they noted the crime scene was very...disorganized I think is the word?

As a grown man, I’ve come to find nobody respects you more than when you whine on the internet.

The Beater with the Heater

Ugh, that’s gross. Imagine having to pitch for the Cubs?

This guys got more lines than a pair of corduroys!

Congenital heart defects. Multiple most likely.

Thug

My guess is PICA with all the money he's been eating hey ohhhh.

Please, tell me more about all the women who want to fuck you.

Sixteen million Dollary-doos? Tobias!

Doug Christie’s wife taught him how to punch.

The most impressive part is that a male wrote this and it’s legible.

Eddie Redmayne