Seriously. My teenagerhood was full of parties that basically involved sipping beer or wine coolers or whatever while chatting and watching cartoons. I can count on one hand the number of times I even got buzzed. We really weren’t trying to go down in flames, like the actors in this exhibit.

Because there would never be a steering wheel that’s not actually connected to the wheels.. Wait, oh. yeah. http://gizmodo.com/what-its-like-…

#notallparties

You should have rushed to the back, grabbed an epipen and stabbed her in the thigh. :)

"Do? Well, I've never watched a person asphyxiate before, so here's my chance."

Re: the fake allergies

+1 First of all, white zinfandel, (I refuse to capitalize it), “Ew;” second, wine with Mexican Food?! Gack...

“Also, please take this complementary diabetes as a souvenir of your tour!”

I’ll have the chip-oh-little sandwich and a glass of piglio griglio, thank you very much.

I hear “chi-POLE-tee” a lot and it drives me fucking crazy. This word isnt goddamn hard.

“Here, we see a server remove the packaging from a frozen cheesecake that arrived on truck this morning to be thawed in a cooler. And so begins and ends our tour of Obscene Selection of Cheesecakes.”

I just figured since the restaurant was called Tokyo, and the fact that the sign said “Japanese and hibachi,” it would have clued these college girls in on the fact that this wasn’t a Chinese restaurant.

Maybe hot chocolate lady was allergic to beige?

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.

He’s just getting ready to weld the diff

Exactly! And on a more serious note, I’m rather amazed that a site like Jalopnik calls a Dyane ‘the world’s crappiest car’. I can name tons of cars that are crappier. Far crappier.

“Fine. Don’t turn right. We don’t need to go to the mall. My mother’s birthday isn’t that important. RECALCUATING.”

Ha I remember entertaining my wife with a skit when we discovered our old Garmin had multiple accents you could select. I was saying I’d program in an Irish accent that would be like “ah Christ! Yiz were supposed to make that last right yeh fecking eejit! Recalculatin fer fuck’s sake.” Every so often it would just say…

Well, if you do this stuff regularly, you know the context clues from the outset. You also know where to find the guy that sold it to you, he’s not hiding out. At the end of the day, when you go to the DMV and get the title in your name you are golden. What someone can say after the fact is no different than if you…

Why is it shady, exactly?