Stick to sports.

I’d like to see Rob Manfred try to make Jim Leland wear a patch.

I’ve never seen anything blown up so fast in Oklahoma City.
-Mayor David Holt

Has anything good ever happened to a Canadian politician at a Rolling Stones concert?

The Toronto Raptors now have the cap space to sign Mitch Marner.

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

The only people who call Puig lazy are the people looking for a reason to hate him. The entire reason for this post is because he wasn’t being lazy and his hustle helped the team win. Take your dog whistle elsewhere.

What if Kawhi agrees to stay in Toronto, but only if they ban Drake from the stadium?

welcome back dad but we like mayo here now

The Leafs, though, desperately need and are going to adore Barrie.

They should hang it in their old building, right before they demolish it.

I will wait until the ink is dry before I spend my entire summer laughing in the face of every delusional Knicks fan who really thought any of these guys would ever want to play for Basketball Trump and his dysfunctional organization.

The odds of Kyrie poisoning the locker room before Durant ever sets foot on the court is better than a planet flip. 

I once got upgraded to first class on a 630 AM flight. I was so excited, free booze! Being that it was my first time in first class and it was the start of my vacation, I had to take advantage, regardless of the time of day.

God damn! You got me! I didn’t. I didn’t win a stanley cup, chief. Did you?

EAT SHIT BOSTON. EAT SHIT MARCHAND. EAT SHIT HUDSON YARDZ, EAT SHIT GHOSTHOUSE, EAT SHIT BLIPPITYBLOPPITY, EAT SHIT GARFIELD THELONIUS REMINGTON III, EAT SHIT MASKED HORSE, EAT SHIT GREGICON.

Those clowns hired the wrong guy for the job. Everybody knows who the best designated hitter is.

the only reason he thinks he can get away with it is literally every single experience he’s ever had.

Someone call?