The younger Dem presidential candidates are milquetoast cunts. The olds would never do this with the exception of Warren because they thinks manners are too important.

Holy shit, that's like foster care. Wtf. 

Father of the Bride is hogshit proof of Vampire Weekend’s comprehensive mediocrity. The best confirmation of the year so far that fans of bands that make them feel smart will follow the smell of their farts off a cliff.

Dude, wherever that party is being held, stay away. The guest list is one name long, and that room is full of poisonous snakes.

You don't see this kind of grandstanding from the spectators at Augusta..

I’m only in these comments to hear from butthurt warriors fans (YELLOW AND BLUE SINCE YESTERDAY AROUND 2, BRUH!). The Raptors had iffy moments, but their Golden State got dominated for half these games and the whole time they looked like they were TRYING. It was awesome. 

I would be way into this and would even arrange the thing but if I had to transcribe the words I'd kill myself and take my family with me. 

Actually, we love that shit. 

Who'd Batista play for again?

Holy shit, did you just go all the way to Olympic Handball to make your unpoint? This has truly been a fascinating read.

Guessing you don't follow Canadian politics much, eh?

It'd be a blast to see a big name player--Altuve let's say--give Hernandez the finger as he rounds home in the 9th. He'd try to rescind the run and the whole thing would overshadow whatever Trump pulled that week.

“Since I’m gonna get flamed anyways.” Gash. Where'd you learn to write without reading?

I grew up going to Golden Corral. It’s awful. But it’s made worse by the people who go there. I’ve seen dingleberries in someone’s ass hair poking up out of the back of their jeans. I'm in favor of throwing everybody out. 

Maybe people in Houston still like Bill O’Brien because they watched Hard Knocks and loved how good a dad he is. I’m a Texans fan living abroad, so I’m watching all our games from Germany. It makes me feel especially powerless, like if I could just be there in person I could talk McNair into firing BOB and respecting…

Here’s some shit I had a dream about yesterday: Get rid of the VISIBLE clock. No phones or watching allowed, and no clock that anyone can see. At t-minus 30 seconds, the clock becomes visible and everyone loses their damn minds. People at home would scream at their coach more. Teams go nuts. More fighting over the…

Kattan DOES seem like a douche. Maybe he learned it from you? HE LEARNED IT FROM YOU!!!!

Yeah.. you're a dick.

You're not doing your side any favours.

It's a giant window facing a building full of people, in the home of a guy who's commissioned paintings of himself as a centaur. He knew full well he was seen in the bathroom. If it takes making a mockery of him to get him to stop inflicting himself on his neighbors, cool.