When the magnitude is this far out of whack, your analogy turns to shit. “My wife is loyal, like a dog.” “Your brain is small and unused, like a child’s penis.” See how fucking bad those are? Good luck not being a pointless firearm death. Because it IS luck. And that's good. If it had anything to do with intelligence,…

Actually “woman shoots man” is a perfectly reasonable headline. It tells me there was a woman who shot a guy and that if I want to know more I should keep reading.

Yeah, the headline here really doesn’t get to the meat of the story about the high school students who brought a trump 2020 flag to a basketball game they played against a predominantly black school. 

The tiny little itty bitty quote you say he “buried” we’re 10 percent of the words he wrote. Also they're the second sentence of the story, so if anything they're emphasized. 

Best replacement funbag so far.

Batman and Robin

This show is boring as fuck.

Enjoy being the Texans.

You’re doing that thing where you pick one out of a dozen things he said and refute it over and over even though he’s done a pretty great job of explaining himself, probably because you don’t want to fail. Which is weird, because as a jets fan you and failure should be best buds.

“My comments keep getting deleted because this writer can't take my ROCK HARD CRITICISM" is my favourite blend of kinja. The best part of waking up is these cunts in your cup.

Until this comment, you mean.

Keeps getting deleted until now, when it isn't.

You mean except for this one.

That good an actor? Kid's crying crocodile tears. Hilariously fake.

This comment is underrated at anything less than 665,000 stars.

I’m a 36 year old white guy from Houston. Until I was in high school I thought I had never met a Jewish person.

Can’t tell if this is a shitty movie or just a shitty trailer.

The success of every film in this series hinged entirely upon Johnny Depp creating and playing Jack Sparrow. Saying it’s played out and overacted is meaningless, and saying Keira Knightly and Bill Nighy were better is like complimenting the milk in my cereal: ain’t nobody showing up for milk without the Cookie Crisp.

The business changed 75% of the name. They changed the logo and menu. They aren't liable for a coupon they probably didn't even know existed. You're not even close to right here and you've gotten super weird about it. I'd say take the L and move on, except there's no L. You didn't lose anything. You're just getting…

I live in Düsseldorf and this is for the best. Diet sodas are literally the only foray into sugar-free or low-sugar-anything I’ve seen here or in Cologne. It’s nuts. Also, while there’s some pretty great food here, Germans’ favourites tend to lean toward the worst they have to offer. Locals would rather have a…