Aw, you got me. This is all part of our big gay agenda to build a gay Jalopnik space station in geosynchronous orbit around earth that will house the largest, most powerful Gaydar Emitter ever conceived by (gay) mankind.

One source says the other guy had been harassing Aaron nonstop.

"Last summer I bought a Hummer H3 on a whim. Because I'm a fucking retard, I didn't know I would be spending up to $350 per month on gas. So instead of ditching this vehicle like any smart person would, I'm trying to fix my original dumb choice with another dumb choice by buying the dumb blinking light called a fuel…

ok

He wasn't an elite boxer, but he had a great coroner man.

"Wow, that guy's got a huge dick!"

Still the shittiest rear end in recent history. Why does a Corvette need kabuki mascara around the taillights?

You seem to be forgetting that most Corvettes throughout history have been pretty restrained. Even the most dramatic Vette, the C2 was still quite restrained compared to this. Also, if the new Corolla is your idea of restraint, I'd hate to see what you consider gaudy.

"It came with the frame"

Speed is never a cause of death in an accident. Suddenly becoming stationary? That is what gets you.

"If my daddy dies in a fiery crash going too fast, do not smile, because I wlll be crying."

Jesus. Johnson was playing with a torn PCL and a broken hipaa.

"Hey Jason, great game, I'm Gordon from Sesame Str..."

Or go play a game with your local beer league.

Ok Megyn Kelly, you own this now.

I didn't know "making it rain" on strippers was considered "work".

I'd love to see someone float the idea of a city-county merger in Lansing just to see the type of dialogue it'd spark. I don't know if any sort of regional tax could pump the kind of additional revenue needed to close the operating deficits Detroit's ran for years.

Logitech Washable Keyboard K310 | $15

Now I will admit, I'm not the best baseball mind (although I know enough to know enough)...but isn't it quite obvious that Detroit fleeced Texas here?