You mean a crowd was more excited about a 7-0 blowout than in a game that was nail-bitingly close for 95% of regulation? You don’t say...

This is an Awesome Show.

Shut it down. This is it for the day.

Isn’t that the same way he celebrated after he won Chopped?

This is bad. Every motherfucker in Orange County is suddenly a die hard ducks fan and I really do not want Diane in her Range Rover with the ducks window flags to feel any sense of validation.

A good rule of thumb I use is whether a chef demands to be called “chef”. I’ll call them that, and if they say, “dude my name is ____” they’re probably just in it to make good food and serve people for a tiring but rewarding living. If they want to be called “chef” by everyone they’re a dick.

Come on, you guys are just making Machado about something.

And that’s why your high school coach is stuck coaching high schoolers.

The thing about outstanding athletes is that, strangely, the shit that normal people (ie non-outstanding athletes) think you need to do in big time situations might not actually help them. So if PK wants to dance, who cares?

“...Were it not for a number of practical considerations...”

So maybe, MAYBE the failure is in the fact that we take young boys and teach them to be endlessly aggressive, and beat a level of violent competition and unwillingness to compromise or lose into them.

It wasn’t about “just a football player” it was that some people can maintain some perspective and avoid raping,…

Holy shit, commenters are putting you on blast and I think it’s completely undeserved.

I’m going to comment to myself because I don’t particularly want to bring some of you assholes out of the greys, especially the pleasant people who subtly wished for my death. Super classy.

This is a nice comment but recall we are Tough On Crime and must remain so even in our brains and internet comments. Nuance is for the enemy.

I need a new pair of pants...

Yeah, and none of them jumped off a ladder through a man, through another ladder. That’s considerably more entertaining than the St. Louis Cardinals.

The Best Time to Poop on a Plane, According to a Flight Attendant

Came to make the same comment as soon as I saw the photo before even scrolling down. Well done.

+1 jar of alien urine for you

Rusty Shackleford could not be reached for comment.