I'd pee on myself before willingly eating candy corn.

I picture you shoving the whole stick (stix?) in your mouth and chewing like a cow chewing cud. It's humorous.

I LOVE peeing in the shower. Candy corn is sugared vomit.

What fucked-up ridiculous Pixie Stix eating technique are you using? It's not corn on the cob, man.

I'll take game winners over Greg Howard's "I hate shorts/culture" pieces any day of the week. RACE ME, GREG. MY NAME AINT TAYLOR I WILL SMOKE YOU

Just like the Redskins to give an interview and then take it away.

Welcome to Deadspin. You must be new.

I hear shes good at stopping penetration.

Used brazier exhibit 3:

Not to sound racist, but Peyton is the biggest douchebag in the world.

Accountability is tough, huh?

Nice goal, but the only "ridiculous" thing in this post is Greg's love of hyperbole.

yup because if there's one business who stands up for the little guy and doesnt take part in monopolistic business practices it's the phone company.

What were the chances that the four people actually watching this World Series all had Twitter?

"Tru but u don't just be having sex with just anybody but I cant doe my body is taken for my boyfriend."

When she found out he was #73 she had a confused look on her face but proceeded to blow him.

Past Burfict: I had planned to go after the ankles of guys recovering from ankle injuries without anybody noticing.

Pursey Harvin

This article is going to push A LOT of buttons around here because

From the desk behind us, Tom Ley stares.