The Jags are one of those teams that don't need the "Why?" This article should just be called "Your Team Sucks: The Jaguars" and that would be sufficient for content as well. 

I believe that is called the Full Peyton

Anybody could get past this line with one arm tied behind their back.

Of course he stood out. If he kneeled they wouldn't have kept paying him. 

Could have been worse. At least he wasn't traded to the Knicks. 

Teddy Bridgewater couldn't use all of his limbs properly either

Where's Dan Snyder with his backhoe when you need him?

Real cowboys don't need housing or fire departments

Is Marvin Lewis aware that he's no longer coaching the Bengals?

It's like that old saying, "stars shine brightest when they aren't covered in Mike Brown's shit."

I guess the problem isn't with his wife's golden eggs

In a case of mistaken identity, the wrong David Ortiz was given Big Papi's pudding cup, prompting him to demand an early exit. 

“Arians is a great coach but he is delegating more than Trump, and to people who are about as competent as Stephen Miller but with less racism.”

How many shares if Microsoft stock did it take to soak up his tears?

I look forward to seeing how Derek Jeter can fuck this up

Guau

Oh, no, does this mean Gregggggg Williams is no longer in demand?

Has Mike Trout ever been to a Pride Parade? I feel like we've been missing out on some quality Rainbow Trout puns. 

If it takes him three days to come back...

Have they tried beating the money out of him?