Well said, Drew. Sometimes it’s hard to look at yourself in the mirror and realize you have to change. Doing so is pretty damn manly.

Totally right is ALMOST as good as technically correct

Great piece. My (false) memory is of him dribbling around one of those brown metal folding chairs.

Sure but with American obesity rates, it’s more likely than not that every driver is carrying a spare tire

This was a really good piece. Too often the reaction is “we can’t ruin this man’s life over a mistake” rather than recognizing that assault and harassment are traumas that stay with the victim and reinjure them over and over again.

Cody Allen was gracious about it, but most Cleveland players suspected foul play.

Funny, I thought he was Dopey

This is a Strasnothingburger

Can someone get Jerry Jones to try this?

Well it’s not the sex

Virginia drivers are also low key shitty at driving. Every time I’m on 66 I want ten people’s licenses revoked, and 35% of people on the beltway shouldn’t be allowed to procreate

Now, now, I’ve heard of one of those guys

They’re playing the long con until the week they leave him wide open and he can take it all the way.

Related, the Spanos family is monitoring all San Diego and LA overpasses for graffiti about how much they suck

“I am deeply offended that this signing occurred when there are so many other talented quarterbacks without jobs.”

He’s the most exposed member of his running club

In true DUAN style, if anyone is watching the AFL Grand Final, doorfliesopen.com is liveblogging it as part of sexy Friday

On the broccoli question, I have started dropping them into boiling water for a few minutes and then transferring them to a sautee pan with oil and garlic. No sogginess, just deliciousness.

How could anyone tell if Dan Snyder was kneeling?