So we agree that Trump has likely never smoked weed, but he’s for sure taken enough perscription pills to kill most of the race horses on Earth, right? I mean, I see him doing that and not counting it as “drugs” because it was from a doctor, or some sort of “medical person” who told him it would increase his manliness…

Possibly the only nice thing you can say Snyder is that he clearly isn’t bothered by black quarterbacks (Campbell as well)

You mean the jackass deadspin rushed to valiantly defend against incompetent GMs, saying he just needed an organization who would let AB be AB. That aged as well as a magary chili fart casserole.

I used to be embarassed to tell people that I am still a devoted watcher of The Challenge, but once I emerged from the shadows, I discovered there are many of us from all walks of life. This show is a true gift. 

Honestly? I think Tom Cruise is such a carefully programmed robot that he would just laugh it off with a big laugh, make a pithy joke about Zac Effron being 5'8, and quietly whisper to the interviewer that he’ll murder everyone he’s ever loved if they bring it up again. 

This is what I would imagine Tom would say, “It pays quite well, thank you. Since I have a fetish for taller than me women, my options are endless. My biggest hurdle there is getting them to sign a NDA and joining my cult. Speaking of hurdles, yeah I have those written out of my contracts for obvious reasons.”

hurt, suspended, or in Cleveland

Since every cabinet member in this administration has to be worse than the last, I'm calling it now: Trump is going to appoint Oliver North as the next National Security Advisor.

I don’t want to carry water for the NFL’s broken and ridiculous kangaroo court, nor do I want to be carrying water for potential domestic abusers, but I am also reticent to convict and ban people from employment without hard evidence.

I guess I’ll never get to the cool kid’s lunch table now.

How do you reconcile the fact that the state you’re so gung-ho to protect are fucking war criminals?

I like to stay out of jail, and keep my wife and business partners from losing their shirts after putting their trust in me.

speaking of narcissistic attention hogs, you’re here posting dumb shit again!

“I think people like Edward Snowden, Chelsea Manning are heroes,” she said. What a breath of fresh air!!

Today on the surreal public affairs program The View, Pamela Anderson, most recently an outspoken supporter of Julian Assange and a woman whose politics are actually quite good,

How many of us Splinter readers could afford to have been beach-house owners? Who is this for?  

Yeah, this guy was a third round pick, the Pats typically wait for the fourth round to take murderers.

Bill Belichick will sign him next week and he'll be a three-time All-Pro for New England

They face much, much tougher competition than the women do.

“But like in every other aspect of life, in global soccer the sexism persists. It’s why Real Madrid didn’t agree to take on a women’s club until this year, and the billionaires at Manchester United didn’t start a women’s team until last year.”