I don’t think you know what a beer belly is.

You’re right. I will certainly not be voting for this Bill Clinton person.

I know Jesus too. He drives an older Nissan pick-up truck, filled with lawnmowers, hedge clippers, and weedwhackers. Jesus mows and manicures my mum’s lawn once a month. Muchas gracias, Jesus.

Oh, come on. He didn’t say anything about this girl he wouldn’t say about his own daughter.

Pure liberal propaganda. Trump loves women. He has great respect for women. All of the women. Except the fat ones. But I’ll tell you women respect him right back. The best women respect him and none of the ugly ones. We’re going to defeat Isis and bring back women.

Hey guys, I’m starting to think that this Trump guy might not respect women.

I dunno, if the press wants to badger him, I don’t see why he should entertain them. His job is to race, not be a monkey for a borderline nobody.

If you don’t want your daughter to hear the word “pussy” maybe don’t let her watch the segment where you’re defending Donald Trump bragging about grabbing women by the pussy. That’s like going on Twitter on a Sunday night and complaining about Game of Thrones spoilers.

Typical left-wing pinko liberal media bias tactics #101: quote people accurately.

At this rate, in 10 years we’ll see Ford/Chevy/Dodge pickups being used instead of Freightliners/Kenworths/Peterbilts.

Except that 1) Bluetooth still exists and 2) It literally comes with analog adapter and 3) There are already 3rd party adapters - they just need to pay for the connector license

This will be soon banned in a number of states as the direct to consumer media model goes against the establishment or big media.

If I were he, my entire family would disown me for telling this story every 45 minutes.

There’s a level on which my favorite part of this is the official press release containing the sentence “We are not screwing around, Philly.”

False. The Song of the Summer is Parachute by Chris Stapleton.

I mean, it’s not even accurate. He probably doesn’t even own any minorities.

I’m not sure it was really necessary to refer to the Cuban-born Sabates as a “minority” in this racist headline.

Now, THIS is a type of message you save the comic sans font for!

You need to know that: