And how 'bout that t-shirt? At least we've got a significant movie to distract us during this circle jerk. I realize that I'm in the minority here, but Emily seems as much of a mess as he. (But again, she gets points for the tee.)

Oh, NO! The "likes!" The vocal fry after fry after fry! The dumb-assery of this is terrible to watch. I've not been so uncomfortable since the last time Ryan Lochte opened his mouth. Are kids this age really like this, or is it just the faux-intellectuals? I thought there was still some hope left but, if this is…

"...they don't have to, but our culture certainly lets them..."

Nope, I wasn't going for that at all. It's just her!

Point taken!

You'd think, with all her dollars, Ms. Gaga would've been able to get Tommy Helm to do her tat. That is one piece of raggedy-ass shit.

Two reasonable answers to that, I guess: #1 - The number that would be acceptable to anyone who isn't me, which is none of my business; and #2 - The number that would be acceptable to me, which is none of your business. My point, which was obviously not made (not your fault) was that Nicks got slightly more than my…

There are far too many "ifs" in all this to even be able to consider a reasonable discourse. Kind of similar to, when we were kids, all of our games began with, "Pretend like..." And, believe it or not, no offense intended!

What does it matter? No one will ever know until after-the-fact. Can't possibly have any relevance to us here, now.

But that could have a lot to do with the "dog looking like its owner" thing.

I see only one problem with this (other than having to live in/around L.A., which is madness in itself) and that is, first, one has to figure out if the thing you believe in is really, actually crazy or not. I mean, I don't think that being able to predict an earthquake is crazy at all — some people are just more…

You think whatever you want to think, damnit! Maybe you might feel more comfortable not typing what you think (which I feel is wrong also, but you do you!), but I don't understand why anyone should ever apologize for their opinion. I need to reiterate here: This is a terrific thing about being An Old. We can feel…

Dear Miss A. Grande: This is the proper way to sing a word, lots of them, actually. Now that you've been schooled, take your pony tails, teeny skirts and peanut-butter-mouth home and begin with Ms. Nancy Wilson or, further back, Doris Day, Rosemary Clooney, then move through Nina Simone, Dinah Washington and finish…

Nope, don't apologize for your opinion, please! You realize that most of us agree with you, right?

I thought Chatsworth's been owned by the Cavendish Dukes of Devonshire way back to...when?...the 16th century? Georgiana?

I like small dogs. Some dogs are small. Those are the dogs I like. Dogs that are under 3 pounds. Those are what I would call small dogs. But some dogs are larger than small dogs. I like some medium dogs, but they are not small dogs. I like the Shiba Inu because that is a small dog. But not as small as a…

And always be there. Physically be there. You don't have to always speak nor have a conversation nor even be in the same room with your teen. Just BE THERE when they're around. If you're a single parent, that means don't date when they're around; be in the house. Figure out whether it's more important to you to…

So I'm now automatically prefacing little shit's name with "Entitled."

My daughter teaches kindergarten and I'll never forget the first time we visited her classroom. I bent down to ruffle one of the kid's hair and she was on me in a flash, hissing, "NO head-touching! Liiiiiiiicccccccee!" Scared the crap out of me, but she says it's an annual thing. She says the parents never address…

She may've been younger than that, but 15 is what I recall. I gather it's been a not-very-closely-held secret in Hollywood forever. I wish I could remember where I first heard this for you!