I've been waiting for this night for a week, and it's terrific news: That asshat who was outed horribly abusing a Doberman pup he'd been "tending to for a friend" (I believe it was mentioned here some time last week)? Thanks to a petition drive on Change.org, he was fired from his position as CEO of something called…

I would rather give you props all day long for the inappropriate use of "delft" than even consider the idea that anyone in that family might know what it is; you have reinforced my low opinion of them and I appreciate it!

"That was delft." I think I missed something. Those people can't possibly be incorporating pottery from the Netherlands into their brand, can they? I absolutely refuse to believe that any of these idiots has even heard the word. I'm thinking that perhaps auto-correct got a little over-stimulated.

Yep. It's basically "I Won't Back Down." Don't care for this version (and I'm afraid of her eyebrows) but could listen to Sam's a lot.

But I do want me to be friends with Idris Elba. I think that's reasonable.

Thank you - my work here is done! :-)

I don't think it's any more of a slur than WASP is. And I don't think WASP is at all.

Would you look at the teeny little hands on him? I think they're smaller than Ed Helms' hands. So disconcerting!

Oh, lord. My dad, back in the '60s, used to think he was the hippest hipster of hip whenever he got the opportunity to refer to something as "groady," usually whatever I was wearing.

I guess I'll go back to watching it this season because Allison Holker (who's now married to Twitch) is one of the professionals. Best contestant on SYTYCD ever!

I absolutely chose my university based on the absence of greek life there. I got full rides to both a Big 10 school and also to a small Texas college and I chose Texas (ack!) 100% because it had no greek system. I was (am, I guess) a Pi Phi legacy and the Big 10 school had a massive & influential chapter that I…

What the hell is this? My eyes! My eyes!

I could possibly be you! I sometimes have impure thoughts about a legit fountain Coke.

Shrayber! I think you're getting kind of a raw deal this evening. I'm pretty sure, though, that a good percentage of us think you're an OK guy. A little off-center, perhaps, but OK. :-)

The only thing that ever worked for me was a Monte Cristo, fries and a Coke. Almost made the hang-over worth it.

There's something about the idea of Carolina sitting at her desk and dealing with us that I find sort of...nice. Not in a mean way, just kind of satisfying, sort of like a Coke on a hot day. :-)

I hate my outfit, too. Sweats and a vintage red "Drink Coke" t-shirt that happens to be my favorite T of all times. Carolina's contempt is well-placed but, at this point, I am far, far beyond salvation by her or anyone else. Were I rich, though, I'd buy her stuff in a heartbeat, mainly for the pockets and the big…

You ride the bus?

I sort of feel that way about Shiloh. I am the biggest fool I know, and I'm sure she'd regard me with all the contempt she could muster in that little body. And I think I'd be OK with that. She seems to be a discerning one, that Shiloh. A TOP HAT!!!

OK, I'll be That Person: Don't you mean you're "leery" of bronies? Unless you're tired of them, in which case I apologize.