The guys next to him both give a great “Whew I dodged a bullet” face and his “girlfriend” is actually married to a buddy of mine, Stevey B.

Nothing more Murica than beating somebody else at their own shit. Congrats ladies. No Canadian teams in the NHL playoffs either. Get your shit together Canada.

gah damn, you wet blanket

Still shot of the incident as it occurred:

This illustrates how Americans really do live in two separate, hermetically sealed echo chambers. The shooting response script for Gawker commenters and most non-Fox media outlets is precisely the inverse of this.