I love this article. I personally can’t stand this tradition and think it’s creepy af

Elf on a Shelf is hilarious if for no other reason than seeing parents that thought they could use Elf on a Shelf as a silent enforcer/stand-in for actual parenting get stuck doing it for weeks year after year.

This guy gets it.  Parties? Hell yeah.  Holidays? FUUUCK no.

My top one lesson from trying to host Thanksgiving one year:

Omg I JUST made a note for myself about doing something with those cookies today! Great minds!

I have no idea how a creep like Robin Thicke and Thyphoid Jenny McCarthy are on TV right now. They’re both has-beens to begin with, never mind their problematic histories with dating and vaccination. (I mean, Jenny McCarthy IS the face of the anti-vaxx movement).

Obligatory:

The idea of a monarchy at all is archaic so all of that wealth, prestige and privilege that was accumilated for doing nothing should be rejected if they really want to modernize anything.

Is baseball the one where one man massages his ball, while another man watches excitedly, stroking his long stick?

I wonder if we’re related. When I was a tween, someone in my family gave me an enormous coffee-table book on the life of Eva Peron... because I was into musicals and had asked for the cast album of Evita.

Oh shit.  My wife gets a lot of owl shit.  She must have mentioned that she liked owls to her family like 20 years ago, and that’s mostly what she gets, especially for our kids.  We’ve also gotten a lot of foxes.

But they are ruining the medium, on the business side at least. There’s nothing wrong with them, in principle: they’re just kind of crappy, generic, big budget, effects heavy movies.

Theyre called commercials.

My friend went on an Instagram crusade against all the influencers who were influencing by stepping all over/lying on/crushing California poppies. Then she expanded it to other people doing harmful things on public lands. (And made friends with @publiclandshateyou!) So no, their harm isn’t just contained to being rich…

1) “Moral energy” here means, “This show hits so close to reality that I can’t mentally handle it because there’s so much wrong.” This is a common sentiment with white guys. My brother thought the book was “too much to handle,” and I reminded him it was based on real events. He looked dumbfounded and I said, “Oh I’m…

I podcast for the right reasons: To be creative, hang out with people I like, and to fill a crippling void in my soul that requires constant attention. That’s all it takes, folks!

I also think it’s weird that so many of the comments are “I don’t have kids [and that was the right choice for me]”. Like, that’s cool, and fine, and I know it’s the other side of this question, but I wouldn’t go on an article asking how people feel about having gotten a dog and write “Well I don’t have a dog and I…

i’m gonna be the cynical one here and say that this was a stupid proposal in the first place. there was always going to be a good chance he dropped the ring box, or when he opened it the ring. not even taking into account the possibility of drowning, this was asinine.

Jesus, just bend on one knee and ask.

Speaking as someone who teaches the discipline, you strike me as the sort of person who comes into my 100-level courses declaring themselves “a WRITER” and then drops the second I apply a few lower-level corrections to your atrocious grammar and syntax—without ever bothering to look at the higher-order concerns with…