Chevy must be pissed that they’ve spent so much money publicly fellating JD Power the past few years and they’re still only in 3rd place. I bet there’s a marketing group somewhere at GM having a Zoom call about their ad and budget strategy right now.

As someone who handles ranking submissions where I work (in an entirely different industry, but it’s the same bullshit process), I am HIGHLY dubious of any of these kind of rankings. Pay to play is alive and well. Everyone knows it. The hypocrisy is that even though we all know the game is rigged, everyone still wants…

Yeah, on Pod Save America they’re pushing this idea that Biden is running on the most progressive platform in US history. If that’s true, it just shows how much work is really left to be done.

The Holy Water enema doesn’t feel as redemptive if it slides in easy. Jesus suffered for our sins and so does Mike Pence.

The thing is, the establishment Democrats are basically Old School Republican-Lite at this point. We don’t have Left and Right parties anymore—more like Center and Far Right. AOC, if nothing else, represents an attempt to course correct and pull the party back into traditional Democrat territory. People who think she…

I forget, was it because they recast a White Classic like The Breakfast Club with a few POC and added in a little bit of light furry action? Or was it because it was promoting going to college in Massachusetts, which we all know is just one big statewide liberal indoctrination program (just ask my Reagan-ite parents,…

They have three bedrooms. One for Pence. One for Mother. And one for “The Humiliations.” Let’s not talk about that third room.

Did you learn the technique of waiting until the end of the night to “peel off the weakest antelope?” Because that’s how the guy behind that site once described to me how he picks up women. I’m shocked to find out that this guy has set himself up as some kind of dating guru for geeks. 

I actually have an uncle named Ronald. But he’s Ronald Inandout, so it’s not as funny.

I don’t know what you’re talking about. My name is Kevin Tacobell.

“I’m going to build a wall.”

Hated him since the 80s, when he was the poster boy for the whole gross Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous thing. Even then, I knew he was tacky and obnoxious. He’s only gotten worse with every passing day.

“Hey big guy, rough day at school?”

After November, he’ll be Former President Skid Row.

Eric Trump came home from the barber one day as a kid and thought the slicked back hair every stylist gives little blonde boys didn’t actually make him look like a pre-pubescent sociopath. No, he thought it made him look so cool that right then he made a lifelong commitment to that hairdo, not realizing that every…

I would get the occasional student with a challenging name who would tell me “say it however you want,” not indignantly but just because they were the kind of kid who didn’t want to be a bother. To which I would just as politely respond “No. It’s your name. Don’t let other people define who you are. Tell me how it’s…

Easy trick from a former college professor: First day of class, you go around the room and have each student say their name while you mark them on the roster. Takes less time than you stumbling through the names, you start the semester learning the correct pronunciation directly from the student, and there’s minimal…

The comparisons to a teenager are numerous: we substitute depth with intensity (this statue nonsense is a perfect example), rely on feelings in the absence of wisdom, and demand that we’re ready for the responsibility of leadership yet frequently bungle it through our refusal to listen to and cooperate with others.

I’ve been WFH for three months now. In that time, we could’ve come up with and begun executing some kind of ambitious national plan . . . if we had any leadership worth a damn. Maybe the lockdown could’ve even been avoided if January-March weren’t lost to denial, grandstanding, and the usual temper tantrums from that…

Same. If you could 100% guarantee that everyone would follow the rules throughout the entire movie, then I’d go. But I’ve seen enough people “wearing” their masks in a way that would make even the Wu-Tang Clan disapprove. Those theater masks won’t even make it past the second Coke commercial.